Page 46 of Lucky Boys
Wes frowned, immediately worried about his best friend. I’d been curious about him and Luca, but didn’t feel comfortable bringing it up. Brooks tried to weasel some information out of Skye and Maverick, but Skye knew as much as we did, and Maverick refused to talk. There were vibes though. Vibes on vibes, and the troubled look in Wes’s husky-blue eyes just confirmed that.
Wes’s smile was tight, but he seemed to loosen up after a few seconds. “Well, I didn’t come in here to talk to you about Luca.”
I frowned. “You didn’t?”
The smile I got was so soft and sweet, my knees nearly buckled. I wasn’t used to smiles like that being directed toward me. I was the prickly brother everyone avoided.
“No, sweetheart.” Sweetheart? No one besides Mom had ever in my entire fucking life called me that, and I was pretty sure that hadn’t had my heart beating out of my chest. I fell back into my chair, lucky it happened to be behind me so my ass didn’t fall directly on the floor. Whatever was happening here probably wouldn’t last much longer if I made a fool out of myself. “I wanted to spend some time with you before everyone else got here. Our texts throughout the week have been the highlight of every day.”
I couldn’t help it then. I grinned. Like, full-force cheesing. “Yeah? Mine too.”
Wes’s eyes lit up, making him look so much younger. I really saw the resemblance between him and his son then. It struck me out of nowhere how unfair the world was. Wes would’ve been a fucking awesome father. He already was, and he had a huge handicap. But he was the most caring and considerate man I’dever met. He was so fucking loyal and just good. Usually, it took me years to warm up to someone, but within a short week or two, Wes was quickly becoming one of my favorite people. I trusted him almost as much as I trusted Brooks, which was wild.
I mean, being alone in this room with the door closed, with a man I knew could be dangerous, proved that. It had taken me years before I’d be alone with my dad. It had hurt the fuck out of him, and I’d hated that, because he’d never done anything to deserve my mistrust. He’d loved and cared for me from the minute he’d found me trying to break into his house. Yet I still couldn’t get my brain and my heart to be on the same page. He’d cried the first time I’d let Mom take Brooks to his therapist appointment alone while I’d stayed with him. Then I’d cried. It had been a whole mess.
But Wes . . . Not only did I feel so safe, but I also wanted more than this. He was carefully keeping his distance from me, giving me space, but didn’t I want that? Maybe. I didn’t know. It was terrifying, the idea of Wes touching me, but I also didn’t find my skin crawling at the idea like it usually did. Even with Brooks I had to typically brace myself for the initial contact.
Wes leaned against the desk on the opposite side of me and cleared his throat. “So, uh, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I would really like to spend some time with you. Outside of this job.”
My eyes were probably bugging out of my head. Was he asking me out on a date? Did I want him to be? Fuck, could I do that?
“Like a date?” I finally asked, because I really needed this man to be crystal clear here.
Wes shrugged. “If that’s what you want, then yeah, I’d like that. Or even just friends is okay.” Before I could open my mouth, he continued, “I know you don’t like crowds or leaving, and that’s completely fine. We could just do a movie and dinnerhere, or whatever you’d like. Lord knows this place is big enough that we should be able to find somewhere private.”
I snorted. “You clearly don’t know my brother well.” Or likely Skye. The two of them together could be dangerous. Not that they were going to be here, but the fact that he’d be willing to do that for me? “Are you sure? I’m not the easiest person to be around.”
Wes scowled. “That’s bullshit, and I can’t wait to show you that. Anyone who isn’t willing to make the effort for you isn’t worth your time, Diego. I’m fucking 45. I’m well past the point where I need to show my date off around town to be happy. I just want to get to know you better. No pressure.”
No pressure? That was easy enough for him to say. “I’m aromantic and asexual,” I blurted, startling the fuck out of poor Wes. “Or at least, I assumed I was. I’ve never felt a romantic or sexual attraction to anyone before, never had celebrity crushes or had a desire to have sex or date. You’re making me question that, which I don’t fucking like. I feel like I’m spiraling. And . . . I don’t like to be touched. Though, I kind of want you to touch me. But I don’t know what I’ll do if you actually do. I might freak out. I work way too much. I won’t leave the fucking house. I’m on more meds than they keep at a fucking pharmacy, and I get nightmares almost every night. Oh, and I can’t sleep in the bed alone unless I take my sleeping pills. Which is pretty fucked up since I don’t want the person touching me—no, not person, Brooks. I can’t sleep without Brooks in bed with me. And I’d like to say that maybe I’d be okay with you too, but I can’t promise that. It needs to be Brooks. Which weirds people out.” I couldn’t even tell you how many potential relationships Brooks had broken off as soon as they’d realized he shared a pullout bed with his adopted brother and refused to budge on it. My spiral then reminded me that Brooks wasn’t going to be here for days, likely weeks. I’d be taking a lot of power naps in my chair, I guessed.
Wes didn’t say anything through my whole freak out. Just patiently waited for me to get it all out. By the time I was done, I was panting and red from embarrassment and just wanted to run. That closed door was starting to feel more like a prison trapping me in. I swiveled my chair, turning to my computer, refusing to look at Wes. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t see his pity, or disgust, or disinterest, or whatever the fuck. The monitor was blurry. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that were suddenly burning my eyes.
“Diego.” I sucked in a breath but ignored him. I had to.
“Diego,” he said again, his voice deeper, more commanding. “Look at me, please.”
Oh fuck. This was what Brooks always talked about. I’d never felt submissive before. I’d never judge Brooks for what he felt or needed, but I’d never totally understood it. Why would he want to obey someone like that?
But Wes’s calm yet authoritative tone went straight to my core, and there wasn’t a molecule in my body that wanted to disobey it. I looked at him.
“Thank you,” he said softly. “Now, I won’t lie and say I don’t have some questions that I hope one day you’ll be comfortable answering for me. But you’re sorely mistaken if you think any of that scares me off. I don’t have any expectations here, Diego. I’m not trying to get something out of you that you can’t give me. If nothing more comes out of it than a friendship, that’s fine. I’m not asking you to be anything other than yourself, sweetheart. I want to get to know you. The real you. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to see what makes you smile, learn what scares you. I want to be in the same room as you when you watch House of the Dragon so I can see your reactions, your passions. As far as everything else”—Wes waved his hand—“well, I think we can figure it out as we go. You’re not the only one here withbaggage, and I think it would be nice to have someone else to share the load with, don’t you?”
Who the fuck was this guy? Did he come straight out of the pages of one of Brooks’s smutty novels he thought I didn’t know about?
I swallowed. I needed more space. I needed to get closer. My head was a mess of contradicting thoughts. Wants. Needs. I wanted to run from Wes and never see him again. I wanted to throw myself in his arms and have him hold me until everything made sense.
My chest was heaving as I stood so abruptly my chair nearly fell over. Wes stiffened but he didn’t move. He seemed to understand I was like a caged animal now and he didn’t want to startle me.
I took a step closer to him. He stilled even further, barely breathing. I took another step.
When I was close enough that I could almost touch him, I forced myself to look up and meet his eyes, an unspoken question in mine. Thankfully, Wes seemed to understand what I wanted because he nodded.
“Anything you want, angel. Take what you need.”
My hands shook. Why was this so hard? Wes wasn’t moving. His posture was relaxed. I could see both his hands, and he had his head tilted to the side, exposing his neck, exposing himself. There was no threat. Wes wouldn’t hurt me. I knew that. I knew it even if he wasn’t trying to show me with his body language. I touched Brooks sometimes. Even Mom and Dad occasionally. This was no different. This was Wes. Wes was safe.
I could barely see my fingers with how badly they shook, but I somehow managed to lift my hand and slowly, so fucking slowly, I brought it up, the tips of my fingers just grazing the graying scruff on Wes’s jaw.
