Page 48 of Lucky Boys
Riley snorted. “You know you’re ridiculous, right?” Still, he buried his face in the side of Beckett’s neck and dug his fingers into his T-shirt.
It was intimate enough that I felt like I should look away, but I couldn’t. It was likely wrong to be jealous of my own kids’ relationship, especially due to the circumstances that forced them to be so close, but sometimes I did envy their love. What would it be like to be so attuned to another person, to literally be two halves of a whole? Would I ever have that kind of love?
Sometimes, I felt Luca and I could have that, but there’d always been a wall there we hadn’t been able to break down, one that was completely my fault. I refused to take that next step, and I wasn’t even sure why. I kept telling myself it was because I was monogamous, that there was no way I’d be comfortable in a relationship like Luca’s . . . yet my feelings that were developing for Diego had me questioning myself. I still loved Luca, but my interest in Diego could easily develop into something more. Could I see myself in a relationship with them both? Absolutely.
So what was it that kept stopping me? My own self-doubt? Traditional values that I let bother me more than I should? Honestly, I had no idea. But all the reasons I kept Luca in the friend zone were seeming less and less valid as time went on. That solid concrete wall had been bulldozed, and one light kick could easily have the remains tumbling down.
“Hey, Wes?” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned back to Ri and Beckett, who were still sharing the chair.
“Are you okay?” Riley asked, concerned.
“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts.”
“I understand that. I was just saying that we’re going to head out. Becks has work early tomorrow.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. I’m so glad you all came. Seriously.”
Riley grinned. “Yeah, me too. I understand why Luca is obsessed with cookouts now. At least bougie ones like this.”
I stood and waited until the four of them said goodbye to everyone before walking them out.
I considered leaving as well, but decided against it. This was the last time I’d see Luca and the other guys besides Diego for a while, and I didn’t want my time with them to end yet. I walked back to the yard.
Luca sat down next to me at the fire pit, two beers in his hands. He handed one over, and I nodded in thanks.
Things had died down some after my kids had left. Diego had long since retired, and Maverick had taken his leave about twenty minutes ago, saying he had some prep work to do before they left tomorrow. Brooks and Skye were still around, but they were playing horseshoes toward the side of the property, laughing and teasing each other.
I had to go home, but it was too hard to leave. Especially knowing they’d be gone and I had no idea for how long. On top of that, I had gotten a strange call from Jay, Beckett’s best friend. They had found a concerning note in front of Dakota’s apartment when they’d gotten home from the cookout. I’d promised them I’d look into it, and Diego was already checking out CCTV footage around the building, but it had left me with this weird feeling inside my skin, and I really didn’t want to be alone in my apartment.
“You okay, man? You’ve been staring into space for like fifteen minutes.”
I hummed in response, taking a sip of beer before answering. “Yeah, I’m good. It’s been a weird day.”
Luca laughed. “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He glanced at me, concerned. “Will you be good when we leave? You can always come with us, you know.”
I shot him a dirty look. “Fuck off, you know I can’t. I’ll be fine. This is hardly the first time you’ve taken off to God knows where for who knows how long.”
“True.” Luca shrugged. “Though, the same could be said for you. How long were you gone right after you found out about Riley?”
Yeah . . . Well, it came with the territory with our jobs. It sucked, but was something you got used to after a while.
I shifted my lawn chair so I was closer and looked directly at Luca, our knees touching. “I’ll be fine. I’ll worry, obviously, but it’ll also give me a chance to learn about Diego.”
Luca gave me a lopsided grin. “I thought I noticed something there. That’s good, man. You both deserve to be happy.”
“Nothing’s happening yet, not really. We’ll be taking it slow. I think Diego is a little confused about his feelings and will need some time to work them out. But I’m patient, and I think it’ll be worth it.”
“You always were. Too fucking patient if you ask me.”
“Excuse me for not running into situations half-cocked.”
Luca laughed. “I do not do that.”
“If you say so.”
Fuck, I was going to miss this man. Yeah, it wasn’t the first time we’d be separated. Our whole friendship had been based on long periods of being apart, but when we came back, it was like time had never passed. Didn’t make it any easier.
Luca’s eyes caught mine in the light of the fire, and it stopped me dead in my tracks. The intensity of his stare was more than I had seen in years. It brought me back to long nights in the desert, just Luca and me hidden in the shadows.
