Page 102 of Painted Scars
She crushes her eyes shut and deprives me of their hazel beauty. ”In crime only. You won’t give me all of you.”
That’s the knife I’ve been waiting for. She doesn’t know she’s gutting me from the inside. I swallow it down, because bleeding all over her won’t fix a damn thing.
I meant every word I told her. This is not temporary for me. This became more than just a mutually beneficial exercise the moment I threatened her boss and exposed myself. I compromised myself, her, my organization… for her. We’re not through once we deal with the Romans.
But two matters threaten to tear us apart. Death, or her uncovering what I’ve really been hiding from her. She won’t want the coward who walked away when he couldn’t protect her.
I jerk my finger in a signal for her to look at me, and she does. “Let me take your pain. Don’t use it as a weapon to hurt me and push me away.”
“My pain isn’t just something you can remove with a flourish of your stalker godmother wand.” There she goes, being stubborn again.
“Oh, yeah?” I drop her hand to my cock. “My magical wand is pretty adept at making you forget your pain when you beg for it.”
“I don’t mean that.” She sniffs and looks away.
I catch her jaw and force her back to me. “How about I undo every scar with my mouth?” She goes to argue, but I get in first with, “Close your eyes. Now.”
Her jaw rolls, but she does as I ask.
I shift my helmet aside and set it on the table. My heart thumps as I lower my mouth to hers, caressing her soft lips, sealing my promise into her flesh like a tattoo. She whimpers into the kiss, not out of need, but the promise of rebirth for which she strives. Every caress of my lips rewrites her story.
I circle my fingers over her breastbone. “How about I remind you what it’s like to live in hope and not darkness?”
She lets out a helpless breath, fighting my words, disbelieving them. I just need one crack. One chink in her armor for her to let down her guard and let me in.
Her fingers fist my shirt tight, and the material groans against my neck and shoulders. “I’m scared that if I let go, I won’t stop falling.”
Breakthrough. But not enough to declare victory.
I push on and sink my fingers into the hair on the back of her head. “You are not your scars, Glitter Bomb. You’ve lived your chapters in heartbreak and disappointment. Let me be the ink that rewrites your ending to one of love.” I kiss her in time to the last seven words, branding her with the tattoo of her new story. “One stubborn page at a time.”
A short silence expands between us as she rests her head on my heart. My words reached her, and she considers them rather than skirts around them. I hold my breath and wait for the cracking sound of her defenses.
She clasps the sides of my face, her mouth lifting in a smile, her eyes firmly shut. “That was fucking romantic.”
Armor pierced. A crack small enough to fit a toothpick through, but in my world, that’s a damn victory.
“I know.” I trace the entirety of her mouth with mine. “Don’t expect me to go all romantic all the time. I’ve got a morally orange reputation to uphold.”
She moves her face to my neck. “What sort of love story are we talking about? I mean, severed fingers are my love language.”
I snort into her hair and cradle the back of her neck. “Fuck. Erase the last few sentences and let me insert a line about dismemberment to satisfy your dark heart.”
That wins me a laugh. Not a short one that fizzles out. A longer, warmer sound, honeyed and textured. “Yeah, court me like a true villain, you fiend.”
I nuzzle into her neck and kiss her temple again. “I’m starting to love your twisted mind. But I can already tell I’m in a world of trouble with you.”
“Do you really mean it?” Her body leans in like her heart’s aching to believe me, but her mind doubts it.
I hate that she doesn’t feel worthy of love. That she doesn’t trust that I won’t stay. I want to kill her father for disowning her, scarring her with the fear that I’ll hurt and leave her too. Punch myself for doing the same.
“I mean it, Glitter Bomb.” My thumb traces her cheekbone, terrified this may be the last time I’m able to.
“If you did, you wouldn’t hide from me.” Her words are another knife to the chest.
I already buried my family. Grayson’s all I have left of that life, and he’s not enough to keep me breathing if she leaves. Kate’s one of two people that feels like home. Saying goodbye birthed grumpy asshole August into existence. I can’t lose her again. I won’t just be alone, I’ll be a ghost haunting the ruins of what could have been, with nothing left of me worth saving.
“Give me time,” I murmur. “I don’t trust easily, but I will take this off for you. I need to be sure you’re ready for it.”
