Page 21 of Before You Say I Do
Chapter 11
Abby saton the bridal shop sofa, flicking throughPerfect Bridemagazine. It’d been six days since Abby had seen Jordan at the drinks with her mum and Delta, and she had to admit she’d been impressed. Jordan had won Abby around with her charm, but she’d also won over her mum and Delta, which was no mean feat. Whatever bomb Delta had thrown at her, Jordan had defused. Had she said she studied psychology at uni? If so, she clearly remembered everything she’d been taught.
Unlike Abby, who’d done an economics degree, and never used any of the theory she’d learned. Still, she looked back on college as fun years, albeit ones she wished she’d paid more attention to. But college, like youth, was wasted on the young. Then she smiled. She was still only 36. She was hardly ancient. Some days, she just felt like it.
Delta had texted the following day to say that she wasokay with Jordan, which was tantamount to a blessing from her best friend. Delta had promised to give Jordan a far easier time on the hen weekend, which had made Abby sigh. Weren’t all the hens meant to make an effort to play super-nice and do everything Abby wanted? Or perhaps that was just a facade, too. Just like her relationship with Marcus’s parents. She was grateful to Jordan for coming in and taking over, but she couldn’t help but think it wasn’t going to fix anything in the long run, was it? She was still going to be Marcus’s wife. His parents were going to have to pretend to like her for years to come.
Marcus’s wife.
Abby shivered. Was that the reaction she was meant to be having, fewer than two weeks away from the big day? Perhaps these were the wedding jitters everybody spoke about.
That was probably it.
She wished she could share her reservations with someone, but she didn’t know who.
She’d kept herself occupied with work. Her mum was taken up being the head of her department. Delta was too wrapped up in herself. And Marcus? He was too busy running around trying to keep everyone happy.
No, this was something Abby had to deal with herself.
What would Jordan say if she knew? Maybe she should talk to her. She must have seen it before. She’d probably have the right thing to tell Abby.
She took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts from her mind. As she did, the scents of the bridal shop wafted into her nostrils. She glanced around, trying to find where it was coming from. Some kind of diffuser? One of those plug-in types? Whatever, it smelled a little chemical-laden. Like the relaxation it was trying to promote was too contrived.
A little like most things wedding-related, as Abby had come to realise ever since she’d said yes to Marcus six months ago.
Was it weird that since that time, they’d had sex twice? Not at all in the past three months? They didn’t live together, so it wasn’t something they could do before work, or have a quickie on the sofa after a chicken-and-mushroom stir-fry.
Since he’d proposed, it was like her body had gone into shutdown. She hadn’t even pleasured herself much. She’d gone into survival mode, only doing the basics. Eat. Sleep. Drink. Work. Survive.
In fact, the only time her body had sprung to life was when she’d met Jordan.
But she was trying to ignore that.
Jordan’s presence made her feel wonky. Skittish. Off-kilter.
Which was ridiculous.
She wasn’t attracted to women.
Most of the time.
Abby stared at a candle sat on a side table opposite. That was probably the source of the smell. Geranium and some kind of flower if she had to guess. Maybe rose? She didn’t like it, whatever it was.
Guessing wasn’t her strong point. She was second-guessing herself all the time when it came to Jordan.
Abby hadn’t been attracted to many women since university. What had happened there had been one night. She’d experimented. She’d slept with a woman. She’d enjoyed it. Ticked it off her list. But that was that. One and done.
Since then, she’d only slept with men. Did that make her bisexual? Pansexual? Did you need a relationship with a woman to earn that label? She wasn’t sure three orgasms counted.
Jordan was the first woman who’d snagged her interest in 15 years. She was trying not to focus on that. These weren’t the thoughts a bride was meant to be having about… her staff.
Perhaps, by not thinking of Jordan like that, Abby had crossed a line.
Funny thing. She didn’t care. From the moment they’d met in that café a few weeks ago, Jordan had intrigued her. Made Abby sit up. Stirred something inside her she thought was long dead.
Jordan was simply someone on Abby’s wavelength. Someone she clicked with. That she had breasts and a vagina was incidental.
However, Abby would be lying if she said she hadn’t wondered what those breasts looked like. Or what it would be like to kiss them.
