Page 78 of Before You Say I Do
Abby had made her decision.
She put her forehead on the steering wheel, a gentle sob escaping her throat as her face crumpled.
She’d known it would go this way.
But when it actually happened, the truth was so much harder to take.
Chapter 29
Abby tooka step up into the vintage white Jaguar, helped by her mum. Gloria was looking incredible, dressed in monochrome, with a black-and-white fascinator placed perfectly on her freshly cut red hair. The car door shut, and then it was just the two of them. The bonnet of the car was adorned with festive cream ribbons. Her bridesmaids had already gone ahead in a different car. Sitting up front was the driver, replete with peaked cap. It reminded her of Michelle.
Of the plane.
Jordan.
Stop.
They drove down the main road in the village. Past the HSBC bank. Past the park with its trees in full bloom.
The sun was a bright yellow button stitched into the sky, yet everywhere Abby looked seemed to have a gloom filter applied. She had perfect hair, perfect make-up, perfect dress. However, underneath her dress, it felt like her bones and flesh weren’t attached to her anymore. That she was sitting in someone else’s body. “You’re sure Dad was okay with not coming in the car?”
Gloria nodded. “He was fine. Someone needs to be with his mum anyway, so it worked out.” She paused. “Smile, love. You’re getting married, remember? It’s meant to be a happy occasion?”
Abby gave her a tight grin. “People say that, but is this bit ever something people look forward to? I mean the whole getting ready, the nerves about being in front of everyone and saying your vows? Is that anyone’s idea of fun?”
Gloria took her hand and squeezed. “It’s nervy, sure. But it’s exciting, too. This is the day you’re declaring to everyone that you love Marcus. That you’ve chosen him to be your life partner. It’s nerve-wracking, but it’s also the start of your new life.” She squeezed again.
Abby gulped. She didn’t dare look at Mum for fear of giving away what she was feeling. That she wasn’t sure she wanted this particular new life.
So she kept quiet and stared at a motorbike that drew up alongside their car. The woman on the back was dressed in full leather. When she turned her head left and saw Abby in her white dress and veil, the woman gave Abby a thumbs-up.
Abby returned the gesture. It wasn’t the most absurd thing she was doing today.
Gloria stroked her hand.
Abby blinked, then turned, catching her mum’s gaze. When she saw concern in her mum’s eyes, Abby turned away.
“I know everyone says it’s the best day of your life, and they’re right, it should be,” Gloria said. “But sometimes, it’s far from it.”
Abby took a deep breath. Could Mum read her mind?
“And if it’s not the best day, not even a semi-good day, you can still change your mind. It’s not too late, Abby.”
Abby’s stomach tensed. Nausea rose up in her. What was Mum saying?
“On the contrary, it’s the perfect time to change your mind. Better than after you get married. Remember, you’re speaking to someone who knows. My first marriage looked good on paper, but the reality wasn’t the same.”
Abby turned. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard this story. But somehow, here, it had so much more poignancy.
“I remember going to my first wedding, even though I try to block it out. I was so scared in the wedding car. It was pouring with rain. Like the weather knew. I had a nagging feeling I shouldn’t do it, but I didn’t listen.” She waved a hand at Abby. “Look at you. You’re gorgeous, your dress is perfect, just like you, but I’m not sure this is ever going to be the happiest day of your life. I certainly don’t want it to go down as one of the worst. Right now, I’m scared it will.”
Abby couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“I saw the way you were looking at Jordan on the hen weekend. I saw the way she was looking at you. I don’t know if anything went on. That’s between you two. I also know she wasn’t there this morning, and she conveniently isn’t coming to your wedding. Are those two things connected?”
Abby took a deep breath and turned to her mum. She couldn’t lie.
She gave her a nod, and covered her mouth. She wasn’t going to cry. It would ruin her make-up.
