Page 37 of One Golden Summer
“I remember finding it funny when Dad would bump into things when he was driving. The way he’d saywhoopsie-daisy, and then break out into his hyena laugh.” Ginger sighed, and swiped her glistening brow. “It wasn’t until I was much older when I realised that was his drunk laugh.”
Saffron cringed, recalling just how often that had been. “It’s amazing we survived our childhood with them. It would have been better if they’d kept their theatre jobs and not been fired.”
Ginger rested her head against the chair, looking up into the darkness overhead, connecting the dots of light with a finger. “That’s why I love it here. All the pressure to be someone I’m not is finally off me.”
“I feel that way, as well. I wish I could stay.” Saffron gazed at the horizon, not seeing any obstacles, just the open sea as if saying whatever you want, you can have. She knew, though, life wasn’t that simple.
Ginger shifted her gaze to her baby sister. “Why can’t you?”
“Pearl is pushing me to do the nextGirl Racerfilm. If I don’t give her an answer soon, she’ll send her former MI6 goon with the contract and pen. Or, maybe she’ll make me sign with my own blood just to show me who’s the boss of my life.”
“I never liked Pearl.” Ginger’s disapproving pursed lips had a stronger effect on Saffron than the words.
“No one likes their agents. They’re a pushy breed. That’s why we hire them. To do and say the things sane people never dare.” There was a time when Saffron unreservedly subscribed to the notion, because that was what every actor told her. But, did that necessarily make it true?
“Do you really need to make another movie you hate? You have enough money for three lifetimes. And, you can’t tell me that you’ve enjoyed one second when making the previous two. You would call me late at night and cry.”
“Isn’t that what everyone does? Cry about their jobs?” She made a fist, and rubbed her eye like a child, trying to make Ginger laugh and move on to a less troubling topic.
Ginger shook her platinum locks, looking so much like the older sister who’d kept Saffron in line all those years ago. “To whinge, yes. But sobbing… talk to any life coach and they’d say if you ever reach that point, it’s time to quit. There’s more to life than a job or, in my case, my marriage.” Ginger sat up straighter. “Look at me, I never thought I’d be happy away from Dave, but you know what, I’m in such a better place right now. Just the other night, I participated in karaoke.”
“That’s great.” Saffron sarcastically gave Ginger two thumbs up.
“Don’t be flippant. We both know I never would have with Dave around. He stifled me in ways I didn’t see until he was out of the picture. I’m free to be me. Part of it is being here in Sandy Cove. Away from my old life that never suited me. I don’t care about the latest fashion trends. The hit songs. The hot restaurants.” Ginger took another cleansing lungful of sea air. “Another reason for my new-found happiness is making friends here. Real people with real lives. Not what they put on their social media feeds. Meeting Kirsty has been such a blessing for me.”
Saffron nodded, afraid to give voice to her thoughts on that front, knowing her sister would pick up on so much more than the words.
Ginger let out a snort of laughter. “I can see it, even if you’re looking everywhere but me.”
Saffron met her eyes, to prove Ginger wrong, and it took more effort than she wanted to admit to herself. “I’m doing no such thing.” She pointed at her eyes and then to Ginger. “Looking right at you.”
“I’m looking back at you.” Ginger mimicked Saffron’s finger-pointing. “Tell me how you feel about Kirsty. Honestly.”
“I think she’s a great party planner. With her in charge, I don’t have to think of a thing, which is good because you hate all of my ideas.”
“I don’t hate them.”
“You don’t like them. You’ve actually called meHollywood. On more than one occasion.” The tendons in Saffron’s neck tightened.
“It’s because you can be sometimes. I know you mean well, and I’m eternally grateful for the reason why. But you don’t owe me an apology for missing my wedding. I understood why you had to work. It’s how you dealt with Mum and Dad’s death.”
Saffron looked back to the sea, wanting to sail to the edge to find out what would happen.
Ginger continued, “It’s just I’m done doing things to please others. You’re so used to the Hollywood way of life you’ve forgotten about the things we used to dream about, like our forever place. I’ve found mine. It’s time for you to find yours.”
Saffron sank into a chair. “What if it’s not in my future? I want to stand still, but everyone, not just Pearl, wants me to keep going full speed. I’m getting so many movie offers, and who am I to say no when there are thousands of people who would kill to have my career? My life? The money? The perks?” Saffron curled her arms around herself. “I feel selfish for wanting something different. Pearl’s right when she says a lot of people depend on me for their jobs. If I don’t sign on forGirl Racer, they probably won’t make the movie. That means everyone from the director to the caterers won’t have a job.”
“I don’t think it’s that black and white. If you say no, they may not makeGirl Racer, but they’ll make a different movie. That’s what movie studios do. The entire moviemaking business doesn’t sit squarely on your shoulders, Saff.” Ginger reached out with a hand, placing it on Saffron’s knee.
“Sometimes I feel like it does, though.” Saffron massaged her temples.
“I know. You’ve always taken on the world to prove you can handle anything. You want to be responsible, because you’re afraid if you aren’t, that means you’re like them.” Ginger slanted her head to make eye contact. “Tell me, how has that worked out for you? It hasn’t made you happy. You’re the hottest woman on the planet, but you don’t date. It’s not like you’re hiding your sexuality. What’s stopping you from finding your forever someone to live in your forever place?”
“Because neither exists.” She ground her teeth.
“Don’t talk nonsense.”
“Says the woman basing life decisions on a childhood dream.” There was a hardness to her voice, because Saffron wanted both. But the choice she’d made when she was so young to go into acting wrecked everything, while giving her all the things people equated with happiness, when most of the time Saffron wanted to smash her perfect life with a sledgehammer.
