Page 13 of Christmas Romance Galore!
“Neither of us said much. I mean, all these years, wondering where she was and whether or not that kiss had meant anything. And now she shows up in London and she’s a lesbian.”
“She didn’t mention the panda eyes?” Holly was grinning now, barely able to contain herself.
“Let’s assume she was overwhelmed with my beauty,” I said, smiling despite myself.
Holly’s mouth twitched. “And what did she look like, more importantly? Ten years can do things to people. I don’t look much like the tall girl with the flowing hair any more.”
I stretched my neck backwards and exhaled. “She looked like Nicola,” I said before glancing sideways. “Close up, I would know those eyes and that mouth anywhere. She was a bit more filled out, but not fat, and her hair was about the same length, but styled — very chic. But she’s still very much Nicola Sheen.”
“Soon to be Nicola Sheen-Taylor or vice versa.”
I sat forward and put my head in my hands, shaking my head as I did.
“There’s nothing you can do about this, you know that, right? Yes, you once kissed Nicola Sheen and ever since you have put her on a pedestal. But she exists in a bubble, in a snapshot of time. You kissed Nicola once when you were 16, and she’s still the benchmark of first kisses. But here’s a newsflash — you don’t know Nicola Sheen. She dumped you like a hot potato after you kissed, and then she got pregnant, which was a huge over-reaction if you don’t mind me saying.”
I sat back up and glanced sideways at Holly. “But she was my first love.”
Holly nodded. “I know — we all had one. That doesn’t mean when we meet them later on in life, they’re still our destiny. Everybody needs a first love, it’s a marker. But then that’s done — it’s a first love, you move on and you meet someone new.” Holly paused, clearly waiting to see if I was listening.
I was.
She carried on. “Nicola’s done that — she’s come out and she’s met someone new. And now it’s time for you to do that too. Nicola Sheen might not have given you another thought after your kiss. You might have been just one in a long line of kisses, leading up to her first girlfriend. Don’t assume she’s hankered after you for the past ten years in the same way that you have her.”
Holly’s face had turned stern now — she was flushed from her speech and her eyes were watery. I never knew Holly felt like this about my Nicola Sheen obsession. I was somewhat startled, and a bit hurt. Way to kick a girl when she’s down.
I glanced at her nervously before replying. “I know all that. I know she’s probably not given me another thought, and now probably won’t again after seeing me in such a state. But then again, we were each other’s first female kiss—”
“How do you know that?” Holly threw her hands up in the air as she spoke. “That’s your presumption, but you don’t know for sure.” She paused. “What would you say if I told you I snogged Nicola Sheen?”
My mouth fell open. “You didn’t?” My words came out in a whisper.
Holly began to laugh. “No, I didn’t. But I might have. You may or may not have been her first kiss. But even if I had, it was over ten years ago!” Holly shook her head. “You’re ridiculous sometimes, you know that?”
I licked my lips and stared at her. “Why are you getting so wound up about this?”
“Because I have to live with your crazy obsessions and then I have to pick up the pieces when things don’t work out as you’ve planned them in your mind. It’s always me, Tori. Always.” She ran a hand through her hair and stretched her legs out front. “Plus, I want you to be happy and I don’t want to see you hurt. And that will not happen if you run after Nicola Sheen like a lovesick puppy. At best, she’ll declare undying love and call off her wedding — and that would be awkward. At worst, she’ll stare at you oddly and walk away, and then you’ll examine what you did wrong for the next year. I would like to stop this pattern of behaviour. I’m suggesting you don’t follow your heart blindly up a dead end and perhaps think about things before you act. Okay?”
I considered Holly’s words as the air sagged in front of me, now silent save for the carol singers across the slab of grass who were singing ‘Once In Royal David’s City’. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, elevated after Holly’s outburst. When did I start to annoy her so much? As far as I was aware, we got on great, although the obsessive trait had been brought up before not just by Holly, but also by my mum and other friends. So maybe she had a point.
I put out a hand in Holly’s direction and gave her a weak smile. “I won’t do anything stupid, I promise,” I said.
She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes — I’m going to be adult about this. We’ll go to Melanie and Nicola’s wedding, and I’ll clap and cheer in all the right places. I won’t return to being 16 again.” I pursed my lips to underline my intention.
Holly’s shoulders slumped and she exhaled. “Okay, that’s good to know.” Then she put her arm around me and I leaned into her. “No stalking Melanie and Nicola on social media either.”
I nodded my head firmly. “I promise.”
But even I knew I was lying.
Monday December 5th
The following Monday arrived and I had no dates set up for this week. Holly had dragged me out around town on Saturday and had banned the topic of Melanie Taylor and Nicola Sheen from our vocabulary, which had been quite a trial. It was a good job she couldn’t read my thoughts.
However, being busy meant I had no time to obsess, and we’d even managed to have a fun night out on the scene, slugging back far too much mulled wine as we got into the Christmas spirit. Hence yesterday had been taken up with lying on the sofa, eating crisps and watching re-runs of Orange Is The New Black.
Also, yesterday I’d only spent around an hour checking Melanie Taylor’s Facebook account to see pictures of her with Nicola. Two months’ worth of photos, it turned out. Melanie and Nicola on a river boat on the Thames, having a sunset dinner, posing in front of phone boxes. There was even one of them kissing in the street, both wearing thick coats, eyes closed. They looked like they were in love. I cursed myself for unfollowing Melanie months earlier when her updates had got too annoying.
