Page 27 of Christmas Romance Galore!
But I didn’t say any of that, although the way my chest was churning, she might have picked up on the body language. Instead, I gently held her at arm’s length and looked her in the eye.
“We’ve all got what-ifs, you know,” I said. “I’ve been out with some really unsuitable women, and my last girlfriend, I broke her heart. So if you think being gay stops you from making bad decisions, you’re wrong.”
She smiled at that.
A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away with my finger.
She followed my finger as I removed it, then fixed me with her almond eyes again. Those eyes.
“I walked away from you,” she whispered. “What would have happened if I hadn’t walked away from you?”
My mind was like one of those kaleidoscope toys I used to play with as a child, whirling round and round. I didn’t want to answer because I didn’t know what the answer was. I knew what the make-believe answer was, but...
It happened before I could stop it. At least that’s what I told myself afterwards.
No sooner had those words tumbled from her mouth than she was moving towards me, her mouth now centimetres from mine. She checked my eyes, then my mouth, then pressed her lips to mine.
Her lips were exactly as I remembered them — without a word, they whispered sweet nothings to me. Her kiss was slow, soft and sensual as she caressed my lips with a surety of touch. Nicola’s lips were silky smooth and she was pitch perfect. I was locked into Nicola’s world, and she to mine. I was helpless.
My eyes were closed, my body in a state of frenzy, even though I was standing perfectly still. But Nicola Sheen was kissing me like her life depended on it, so I wasn’t about to stop her in her tracks. This had been my fantasy for years.
Apart from the bit where she’s standing in a wedding dress, about to marry someone else, but life’s never perfect, is it?
I was sinking, but her kiss was keeping me afloat. She tasted of sparkle and promise.
“How you getting on in there?” a voice asked. It was Sophie.
We both jolted and pulled away from each other, Nicola wiping her mouth before straightening herself up in front of the mirror.
“Really good — I really like this one,” she said, not missing a beat. “And I think Victoria likes it too, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Really lovely,” I said, my voice croaky.
Nicola took another huge breath, then pulled back the curtain and strode out into the shop where Sophie was making positive noises.
“I think this is the one.” Nicola was nodding at herself in the huge mirror while I was still standing in the changing room. I was scared to go out there. Wouldn’t Sophie know, wouldn’t everyone know? Weren’t we lit up with guilt for all to see?
“You look gorgeous, that dress is spot-on,” said another voice. I walked out with as much poise as I could muster, and smiled at the other customer who was now joining in the dress approval ritual.
Nicola twirled in the big changing room, soaking up the attention, not ever catching my eye.
My mouth was still on fire, I could still feel her tongue inside me.
She was playing the part perfectly, which I found disconcerting to say the least. But then, she always was far more theatrical than me, able to style things out.
But now, having just shared that kiss, I could see her whole life was one big act, with Nicola Sheen lurching from one scene to the next. Who was the real Nicola? I had no idea. All I knew was, I needed some air, to get out of there sharpish. Kissing my first love had thrown up a tornado of emotions.
“Nicola, I’ve got to go — got to get back to work.” I walked over to the pink sofa and picked up my bag, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as I did. It didn’t stop my mouth burning. “That’s definitely the one, though.” I pointed towards the dress she was wearing. “You look absolutely stunning.”
Nicola turned to me, but her face was hard to read. Was she sad I was leaving? I had no idea, because I could see she was torn — torn between playing the part of the excited bride, and the reality of what had just happened in the changing room. But with an audience watching her, there was only one way this was going to go. Her eyes held mine for a fraction of a second, before she regarded herself in the mirror again and cracked one of her most choreographed smiles yet.
“I think you’re right — I think we have a winner.”
“Great,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”
Nicola’s panicked gaze honed in on me as I walked over and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.
She closed her eyes and took a sharp intake of breath before stroking my arm. “See you soon,” she said.
