Page 37 of Christmas Romance Galore!
I gulped and tears needled the back of my eyes. Every time she said something like that, it took me back to teenage Nicola. The one I’d been in love with.
There was a knock on the door and it opened swiftly. A man with red hair walked in, but stopped when he saw me. “Sorry guv, didn’t realise you had company.”
“Can you give me five and I’ll be with you?” she told him, holding up her hand.
If the man noticed Nicola’s watery eyes, he gave nothing away.
“Sure,” he said, smiling at me as he backed out of the office.
Nicola stood up and walked around the desk, leaning on it in front of me before taking my hands in hers. “I have to go — I’ve got a briefing to do.”
A tear trickled down my cheek. I didn’t know why. I hadn’t come here to pursue anything with Nicola, but I didn’t want this moment to end. I was fighting with my teenage self and my normally rational present self.
“I don’t want this to be the end of us — even as friends.” I paused, searching my mind for something to say. Nicola’s hands were hot around mine. “Do you still love country music?”
She nodded.
“Then come to the Dixie Chicks with me.” Even as I said it, I knew it was wrong. But it was out of my mouth before I could control what I was saying.
She furrowed her brow. “You’ve got tickets? They sold out in minutes.” She paused. “Remember when we were meant to go to that concert all those years ago?”
I nodded, putting an image of Holly out of my mind, even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me to take the offer back. But I wasn’t operating via normal me — I was operating via 16-year-old me. “I do. But we never got there that time, did we?”
Nicola narrowed her eyes. “Things got in the way.”
“Boys got in the way.”
She nodded, then cast her eyes to the ground, before returning them back up to me. “I’d love to come with you.” She paused, before tilting her head. “You give off very mixed signals, you know that?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything else.
“I’ve got to go. Drop me a text with the details?”
I nodded and got up, already cursing myself as I left. Why had I said that?
I was so going to hell.
It was now less than two weeks to Christmas, and I was no closer to getting a girlfriend. If anything, my plan for a Christmas girlfriend had shaken up my world and thrown a whole load of trouble my way in the past couple of weeks. On top of that, I’d promised the Dixie Chicks tickets to Nicola in a moment of stupidity, and now I was regretting that enormously. My stomach lurched as I thought about breaking the news to Holly. It could wait. I decided to go to bed as I’d probably done enough damage in the world for one day.
I brushed my teeth, spitting out blood as I did — it represented the world I was living in. Messy. When I got into bed, sighing with relief as the covers soothed my skin, I stared at the ceiling and thought about my dad. He was probably looking down at me and shaking his head right now. Christmas was meant to be all about lightness and giving, but I knew that with the Dixie Chicks tickets, I’d taken the giving a step too far. I had to make that right before Holly found out.
“What would you do, Dad?” I asked out loud, before stilling my breathing and waiting for an answer.
Nothing came.
Perhaps my dad was too busy stringing up Christmas lights and drinking mulled wine with the angels — sounded about right.
But I knew he wouldn’t be happy with what was going on. I needed to just walk away from Nicola completely, no good could come of it. And then Holly would be happy too.
Holly. Oh god, the tickets.
I pulled the covers up over my head and willed sleep to take me away.
Perhaps everything would seem a lot clearer in the morning.
Tuesday December 13th
Holly and I were meeting in the drinks department at Selfridges to buy some overly expensive alcohol for our annual Christmas soirée, usually held the weekend before Christmas. Holly always had a party around that time to celebrate her birthday, which fell on Christmas Day — hence her festive name.
