Page 41 of Christmas Romance Galore!
“Then what happened?” Holly sat forward, looking at me.
“I don’t get you.”
She laughed softly. “I think that’s the point I’m trying to make.”
Her words were slightly barbed, but she was smiling. At least that was something.
Holly shook her head again. “I’m saying that after you made the mistake — and you knew it was a mistake — you did nothing. You hid. You hoped that someone else would come along and sort your mess out for you. But guess what? Nobody did. Your mistakes are for you to deal with.
“You did the same with Nicola. You never put a stop to it, even though you knew it was going nowhere. You did it with Amy too — she was the one who called it off. Everybody else has the same issues to deal with, and they do. You need to start dealing with your life rather than running away from it.”
I said nothing, just looked around the room. I knew I deserved this, but it didn’t make it any easier to take.
But Holly wasn’t finished. “Running away creates drama and you love drama. But you don’t need it, that’s what you don’t realise. You’re fine as you are. You can be the star of your own life, you don’t need other people to define you. It was the same with your Christmas girlfriend quest. You couldn’t just date like everyone else, you had to have a theme, a deadline — more drama.”
I glanced over at Holly, taking in her words. Was she right? Did I court drama wherever I went? My life had certainly always had its fair share. Maybe she had a point. Maybe I did do it to myself.
“You should come out for lunch with my mum on Saturday,” I said glumly.
Holly looked at me quizzically. “I should?”
I nodded. “Yep. She’s given me this speech before too, or similar. You could tell me in stereo.”
Holly smiled. “No, we’ll just tag-team. I’ll do today, she can do Saturday.”
I gave her a weak smile. “You make me sound like such a moron. An emotionally defunct moron.” I put my head in my hands. “Am I that bad?”
Holly was silent for a few seconds too long.
I burrowed my head deeper.
“You’re just you, Tori, I know you and I love you.” She paused, as I looked up. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t make better choices and make a change. See what I mean?”
I sighed and nodded. It was nothing I hadn’t heard before. And maybe now I was reaching my late 20s, the cuteness factor was wearing off somewhat. But Holly still loved me, that was something at least.
“I do,” I said. “And I will totally try. You have my word. Is that good enough?” I searched Holly’s face for an answer. She waited a few seconds before replying.
“It is if you mean it,” she said.
I bit my lip again. “I really do.”
“Then I’ll look forward to Tori 2.0. She sounds like an interesting, sassy woman.” Then she smiled at me, a proper full face smile this time, and when she did, I realised how much Holly’s approval meant to me.
I stared at the train that was passing by the window, waiting for the noise to die down before replying.
“So am I forgiven?”
Holly shook her head, then smiled. “You’re forgiven. You’re an idiot, but you’re forgiven.
I smiled back. “I was going to give the tickets to you all along, honest. Nicola doesn’t deserve them — you do.”
She waved her hand. “Let’s leave Nicola out of this from now on, shall we? We’re going to the Dixie Chicks, just like we planned. Our Christmas extravaganza is back on. What do you say?”
A wave of warmth washed over me as I held up my beer for her to clink. “Here’s to us and our Christmas extravaganza.”
“Here’s to it,” Holly replied, tapping her beer bottle to mine.
She held my gaze and my stomach did a backflip.
