Honestly, my emotions were all over the place this Christmas.
Friday December 16th
I opened two days of my Advent calendar and ate the chocolate for breakfast, then made my way to the office. The weather had turned grey and exceedingly damp. This morning, the heavens had opened and as I’d walked from the Tube, water was racing along the gutters, the torrential downpour slapping the concrete like a scorned lover. I’d run the gauntlet of trying not to get in the way of a giant wave from a passing car, and I’d just about managed it.
Now, I was in my office kitchen, grinding beans for my first coffee of the day. Surprisingly, I’d slept fine last night, but my dreams knew something was up. In it, I’d been walking up the aisle on my wedding day when I woke up, sweating and confused. I was pretty sure the woman waiting for me was Nicola Sheen, but I couldn’t be certain — she seemed taller than her from the back. Now, a couple of hours later, I still had that odd, wary feeling you get when you have a dream that’s far too close to real life. I preferred my dreams to be abstract and bizarre rather than based in reality — like that dream where I’d married Kristen Stewart. After that one, I’d been smiling for the whole day.
Sal walked into the kitchen looking exactly as I felt — tired and like she wanted to still be asleep.
“Morning No. 1,” she said. “No arson plans today?”
I shook my head with a smile. “None this morning, but maybe later if I’m bored.”
Sal laughed and slotted two slices of bread into the toaster before opening the fridge to grab the butter.
“Make sure you watch the toast, though,” I said. “That toaster is dodgy, mark my words.”
“A bad workman always blames his tools,” Sal replied.
I finished making my coffee and raised an eyebrow at her. “Just make sure you watch it.”
I walked through to my desk and opened my emails — only 35 new messages overnight, not too daunting. I smiled at a picture of Holly and me from last summer that I had as my screen saver — it was just after we’d done a skydive and we had our arms around each other, grinning into the camera. It always made me smile, plus it reminded me I was capable of anything if I put my mind to it. Outside, the rain was still skating off the dark grey roof tiles and a crunch of thunder made me turn my head, quickly followed by a shard of lightning.
I was on my third sip of coffee when I smelt the smoke, and just raising the mug to my mouth when Sal ran past me the other way. Too late — the fire alarm was already blaring.
“Sorry!” Sal was standing in the kitchen doorway, her face clenched. “Looks like we’re going to have to evacuate again. I promise to buy a new toaster today.” She caught my eye and gave me a tight-lipped smile.
There was a collective grumble as people winced at the noise of the fire alarm, then gathered their coats and bags before trooping down the stairs, brollies in hand. On the pavement outside the water jumped up, hitting calves and shins, while windscreen wipers worked overtime as we huddled in the doorway of the local supermarket.
Everyone else was willing the fire department to get here quick and sort this out, but I wasn’t one of them. I wanted to be nowhere near the fire engines when they arrived.
“Not you this time,” office manager Maureen said to me.
“Apparently not,” I replied, fixing her with a death stare. Possibly a slight over-reaction on my part, but Maureen should know when to shut up. It wasn’t one of her qualities.
Five minutes later and the fire engines turned up. Nicola Sheen and her colleagues got out, fire gear on and ready to tackle the toaster again. She looked around, searching out Maureen. When her eyes spied the high-vis jacket, Nicola began walking towards us.
“Here we go.” Maureen let out a sigh and stepped into the rain, umbrella up. I’ve no idea why, but I followed her.
When Nicola saw me next to Maureen, she stopped. I could see the battle of professional versus personal playing out in her mind, but eventually professional won the day. She came to a halt inches from me, her face giving nothing away.
“Morning, Maureen,” she said, as if this was just any other day. Nicola’s vision was set to tunnel mode, and Maureen was the only person at the end.
“Nicola,” Maureen replied. “I’m so sorry, it’s our damn toaster again.”
“It’s pretty bad when you’re on first-name terms with me.” Nicola glanced at me. “You again?”
Was that a smirk on her face? If it was, I really wanted to wipe it off. “No, actually,” I said. “Believe me, you’re the last person I wanted to see this morning.” I paused. “How are the wedding plans?”
Nicola flinched, but then regained her composure, turning her focus back to Maureen.
“You’re getting married?” Maureen said. “How wonderful! When’s the happy day?”
“Less than two weeks, isn’t it, Nicola?” I closed my eyes as I said it. Why couldn’t I just shut my mouth?
Maureen looked from me, to Nicola, and back. “You two know each other?”
“Old school friends.” Nicola kicked a stone on the pavement as she said it.