Page 114 of The Spider Queen
His hand snaked underneath my shirt to rest on the small of my back. “We would’ve dated the rest of the semester. And for the first summer in college, I wouldn’t have gone home. I would’ve stayed in Charleston, so we could be together. I would’ve asked you to move in with me our senior year. You would’ve called me crazy, smiling while you did it, letting me know you were just as crazy, that you loved the idea of living with me as much as I loved the idea of living with you. And then after college… We would’ve had a beautiful life together, Poppy.”
I raised my head to look at him. His eyes were closing, and I let him fall asleep, let him dream of the life we’d never have.
When I felt the deep and steady rise and fall of his chest, I eased away from him. I needed time alone. Time to come to grips with the crippling guilt I felt about falling in love with the wrong man, about damning him either way.
I went into the bathroom, stripped out of my clothes, and turned on the faucet of the claw-foot bathtub. It was old-school white porcelain and it was cold to the touch. I made the water as hot as I could stand it and filled the basin.
You’ll be free soon,I said to Thane.
Yes.
I’ll hate you for it.
I know.
With a sigh, I cut off communication. I sank into the hot water until my chin was submerged and closed my eyes
Then I felt the push.
Like a hand on my head, shoving me down until water covered my nose. My eyes blasted open, and I struggled against the invisible power holding me underwater, trying to drown me.
Chapter 44
Drowning sucked.
It was painful, and there wasn’t a white light like they showed in movies—there was just a black abyss.
Nothingness.
It was terrifying.
At first I fought, desperately trying to prevent what was coming, but eventually I stopped struggling. It hurt too much to keep fighting, and it hurt for so long that eventually I wanted the pain to stop.
So I gave in.
And then I discovered it could get worse.
My ribs felt like they were being split open and there were hands on my heart.
Open your eyes, Poppy,Thane commanded.
No…
Open. Your. Eyes.
The pressure on my heart eased. I felt weightless, like I was floating.
This is nice,I told him.
Poppy,Thane growled.Wake up. You do not get to do this. You do not get to die.
If I die who will free you? That’s all I am to you, a ticket to freedom.
I sank deeper into the weightlessness, the nothingness.
You’re more than my ticket to freedom.
What am I to you, Thane?He was silent.Thought so.
