Page 216 of The Spider Queen
Pressing my hand to my heart, I got up off the ground and started for the forest. I had no idea where Thane was or how I was supposed to find him if our link was silent.
The trees in the forest weren’t magical trees like the ones in Purgatory. They looked like trees in an alpine forest. Did that mean I was on Earth?
No, I couldn’t be. There were still three moons in the sky.
Bone-weary exhaustion settled in. I felt like I was mourning every loss, every heartache, every moment of suffering that had ever come into existence. My feelings weren’tmyfeelings. The losses weren’t my losses but those of other beings.
Empathy for every living creature surged through me and literally brought me to my knees. I fell to the ground and curled up into a ball.
“When you kill a merrow, you absorb their unique talent.”
The mage’s voice didn’t startle me, nor did I wonder how he came to be there.
“Hunter had extreme empathy and a deep capacity to love.”
I closed my eyes, tears seeping from the corners to roll down my nose. “Don’t talk to me about him. I knew him. You didn’t.”
“Lady—”
“Why are you here?” I snapped.
“You need a barrier,” he said. “From all the emotions you’re feeling. You need to learn to control them on your own, but there isn’t time to teach you that now.”
I lifted my head and glared at him. He was no longer naked but in a robe. “Why do you care?”
“Because you’re the key.” His stare was unrelenting. “You’ve always been the key. If you fall, the world falls.”
Anger like a raging river in springtime surged through me. Pine needles and leaves blew in circles around my feet. I lifted my head to the sky and bellowed. I screamed like a dying animal. Every emotion I felt was in that bay.
When my fury had run its course, I collapsed to the ground again.
“Cursing your choices doesn’t change them,” the mage pointed out mildly.
I glowered at him. “You’ve been enslaved for generations—just like Thane—and yet you seem remarkably even keeled. How is that possible?”
“Thane was conscious the entire time. I wasn’t.”
“You’ve been in a magical coma?”
“Something like that.” He took a tentative step toward me. “You’ll be able to hear Thane again. If you let me erect a wall for you.”
“All right,” I said quietly.
“You’ll also feel your grief for Hunter. That I cannot spare you from.”
“Why will I feel it?”
“Your heart has been restored to its original form.”
“Human heart you mean?”
“Yes—but a full human heart that has been turned immortal.”
“So I’m myself again…but different.”
He nodded. “I have to touch you.”
“Do I have to stand?”
