Page 225 of The Spider Queen
“What did it feel like when I died,” I repeated. “Numb. My body was numb.” I paused, my finger tracing the rim of the goblet. “Regret. That I wouldn’t be the woman you’d get to spend your life with. But also…I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to love again.”
His eyes were more gold than black.
“Why are your eyes gold?”
“I don’t know.” He frowned and then took a moment to formulate his words. “For someone who was dying, you seemed to have pretty lucid thoughts.”
“I don’t know if I was really dead.”
“You were. Trust me.”
“I wasn’t”—I wet my lips—“I don’t know…gone.Like my spirit was still close, and I could still see you.”
“You could?”
“Yes. I saw you kill your brother and then drag me into the River Styx. I saw you dribble water over my lips.”
He froze. “You saw all that?”
I nodded. “But I couldn’t hear you. It was like watching a silent film. I felt the tug on our mental connection in a way I’d never felt before, and then I flew back into my body. That was probably me responding to you begging me not to…not to die.”
“Probably.” Thane lifted his hand and ran it across his stubbly jaw. “Tell me what happened to you after I was petrified.”
I filled him in, and when I told him about Hunter’s death, I felt the pain deep inside me. Fresh anguish.
“Your heart glows. When you talk of him.” Thane stared at my chest and pointed. “Like when you were human.”
“It did that when I was human?”
He nodded.
“You had a visual? Every time I thought of Hunter and my feelings, you could see it?”
He nodded again.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t know.”
Thane swallowed, his eyes melancholy. “It was a small price to pay—knowing I’d get to be with you. In the end.”
“Poppy?”
“Yeah?” I looked down, letting my tears fall to mix with the bathwater.
“I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“I knew you’d have to kill him.”
I lifted my gaze slowly. He looked tortured, but even if he hadn’t, I would’ve known he felt that way. Our bond was even stronger now, the last shield between us down. I hadn’t even considered erecting another barrier between us, nor did I want to.
“Part of the prophecy?” I guessed.
“Yes.” I mulled over that piece of information as he went on. “And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to agonize over it.”
I waited for the rage to hit me—I expected it—but I realized what Thane had done. He’d tried to protect me, carrying the burden himself, keeping it from me.
“He remembered,” I whispered. “He had all his memories of me—of us. And in the end, he still sacrificed himself for me. I don’t know what I did to earn his devotion, but it was so…” I searched for the words. “Selfless.”
