I gasped, feigning shock. “No. Really?” I threw his hands off me and climbed out of bed.
“Where are you going?” he demanded. He rolled over onto his side and peered at me in curiosity.
“I don’t know—a run. Maybe I’ll change into my spider form and go exploring.”
He collapsed onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “What do you want me to do, Poppy? Ignore my duties to tend to you?”
“Tend to me?” I snapped. “I don’t need to be entertained. I don’t need every moment of your attention. This is what Ididn’twant. To be sitting around waiting for you.” I shook my head. “This is what I meant about having my own life—my own hobbies and enjoyments.”
I looked over at Thane, wondering why he hadn’t answered me. He was asleep. He’d fallen asleep mid-fight? Really?
Rolling my eyes, I turned to the door. I was awake, my mind was on, and I wanted to walk and contemplate how the hell I was going to occupy my time for the rest of eternity.
I felt something warm resting against my throat and reached up to touch it. The pearls were back around my neck.
No doubt in my mind that my spiders were male and had the same twisted sense of humor as Thane.
But I was no June Cleaver and this ended now.
Chapter 60
The door silently glided open, and yet I still checked to see if Thane would suddenly wake up. He didn’t. In fact, he rolled over, grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest.
I’d never been an idle kid. Even though I’d never been athletic or into drama club, I was always doingsomething. It usually involved a big, heavy book and a library. It probably made sense that I’d holed up in the archive room. I was comfortable there.
I wandered down the hall and into the throne room. The torches were lit, and I stepped up to the throne and sat down in the seat that was relegated to me. Maybe my issue all along was my failure to process. The speed of my life recently was giving me whiplash.
My hands crept across my stomach and rested there.
Maybe I hadn’t wanted to deal with everything—because if I did, I would realize I didn’t recognize my life or myself. I loved Thane, and I had chosen him, but what was I—
“My Queen.” A servant appeared from the hallway shadows.
I jumped, startled.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was wondering if I might get you anything.”
“Oh. It’s fine. I don’t need anything,” I assured her. “What’s your name?”
“Ragna,” she supplied.
“Ragna,” I repeated with a nod.
Not only was I having a hard time adjusting to being idle, I wasn’t sure how to deal with my new title and an overall lack of privacy. My every need, every wish, was seen to.
The young woman was dressed in black silk and gold anklets. Her face was pleasant, and she didn’t seem at all upset about finding me wandering about the castle late at night.
“Did I disturb you?” I asked, almost as an afterthought.
Ragna looked surprised and then quickly concealed it. “You cannot disturb your servants, my Queen. It is your right to be tended to.”
“My right?” I stood from the throne and walked down the steps, hating that I’d physically stood over her. “I don’t deserve to inconvenience you, queen or not. Just because I’m Thane’s mate.”
The servant woman’s brow furrowed. “We don’t serve you because you’re the Guardian’s mate. We serve you because you haveearnedour loyalty. You freed the Guardian, and you defended him on the battlefield. Youdiedfor him, my Queen. And you came back to him—and to us. We serve you willingly, and each of us has the power in this realm to choose whom we serve. We are not slaves, but voluntary servants.”
“I never thought that was the reason”—I paused—“that you served me. For the record, I hate that word.”
She smiled. “In our realm, it is both an honor and a privilege to serve you, my Queen. Anything I can do for you, I’d be glad to do.” Her eyes dropped to my stomach. “It is our turn to protect you. Protect you and your child.”