Page 353 of The Spider Queen
“Later is fine.”
I nodded but left the table anyway. I headed up to the deck for some air. I was at the railing, staring into the sea when a voice asked, “Mind if I join you?”
Dorian’s eyes were full of compassion, and if he had any curiosity, he shelved it.
“Sure.”
“You know—”
“I really don’t want to talk,” I interrupted. “Is that okay?”
“Okay.”
We fell silent.
“You don’t seem like yourself,” he said.
I looked at him. “We’re doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Where I say I don’t want to talk, and you pretend to respect boundaries and then push past them?”
He smiled slightly. “Yeah, we’re doing this. You can walk away, you know. I can’t really hold you hostage.”
A grin teased at the corners of my mouth. “I’m afraid if I don’t stay and hear what you have to say, you’ll just follow me around. I won’t be able to get away from you.”
“There is that possibility. So? Will you let me say a few things, and then I won’t bring it up again?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because you care so much about other people, Stella. Maybe you should let someone care about you.”
I inclined my head.
“You’re conflicted. About your love for him.”
“And the gold star goes to—”
“I fell in love with someone I wasn’t supposed to.”
“Was she a fallen angel who was the source of all of mankind’s problems?” I fired back. Numbness was finally giving way to blatant anger. Not anger.Rage.Unmitigated, unstoppable rage.
He cocked his head to one side. “Man has free will, does he not?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
“He ate the apple because of temptation.”
“Because Lucifer put it in Eve’s path. Because he was the one who whispered in her ear—”
“Again. We’re talking about free will. And if you believe in free will, then you believe people have different levels of corruptible nature. Evewantedthe apple. She lusted for it. Lucifer didn’t shove it down her throat. At some point, people have to take responsibility for their actions. For their desires.” His stare pinned me in place. “You have to take responsibility for your desires.”
I looked back at the ocean. The waves splashed against the sides of the ship, and the air was cool at my cheeks. “I thought I’d find clarity.”
