Page 111 of Fall of a Kingdom
I managed to loosen his hold on me so I could bend down and hug him tight.
How many more nights would I get to comfort him?
The thought weighed heavily on my heart.
“What was your dream about?” I asked.
He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and shuddered. “You were gone. And I couldn’t find you.”
* * *
“Is he asleep?” Ash asked.
I nodded and collapsed onto the couch in the den.
“What took you so long? It’s been an hour.”
“I checked in on the others.” I’d stared at each of them, memorizing their faces, their breathing patterns, storing up memories and hoping they would give me strength through the coming weeks and months.
Ash looked thoughtful as she pondered my words. “You’re not tired?”
“No. The migraine fucked my sleep up.”
She rose from her seat and went to pour me a glass of scotch and brought it to me. “It’s medicinal.”
I took it and then drank a long swallow, feeling the burn and peat in the back of my throat.
“You have to have the surgery, Barrett,” Ash said after she sat down. “I’ve been thinking about it the entire time you were upstairs. And you just can’t give up.”
“I’m not giving up.”
She looked into the flames of the gas fireplace. “You’re the glue. You’re the one who holds all of this together. Without you…”
“Without me,what?” I demanded. “You’ll all just fall apart? Don’t put that shit on me, Ash. Say what you really mean.”
“Fine.” Ash looked at me. “Iwon’t survive this. If you have the surgery and something goes wrong and you die, then okay. At least I’ll know that the woman I’ve admired my entire adult life was worth the admiration. But if you choose to die, without even trying to save yourself, then you’re not the woman I know.”
“Fuck you,” I said without heat. “Fuck you to hell, Ash. You have no idea what this feels like. Watching your life flash before your eyes. Knowing no matter what you do, there’s a bomb in your head that could explode at any moment. Raping your memories, stealing your time.” I clenched the crystal glass in my hand, knowing I didn’t have enough strength to smash it.
Her eyes welled with tears and her lips trembled. “I’m afraid my marriage is falling apart and I’m afraid you won’t be here to help me pick up the pieces.”
My anger melted away like snow in sunlight.
“I’m a selfish shit,” she blubbered. “I know that. But, oh God, the thought of not being able to confide in you is more than I can handle.”
Despite the finality of my situation, I laughed until I cried. And then Ash and I were holding each other as tears streamed down our faces.
Only when my phone rang, did we finally pull apart and get ourselves together. I took several deep breaths and then answered Flynn’s call.
“Hey, love,” I greeted, feeling the emotion sweep up my throat, threatening to choke me.
“Did I wake you, hen?” His voice was raspy, and I knew he’d barely slept.
“No. I’ve been up,” I hedged. “Iain had a nightmare, but he’s back to sleep now.”
“I’ve got more bad news.” He sighed. “The Manhattan and Boston ports were set on fire.”
“Both?”
