Page 104 of Huckleberry Hill
“No, I’m not, but how do you expect me to get over a two-year relationship in a month?” I demanded.
“I don’t expect that. But Jesus, I thought I was okay with whatever you had to give me, but I’m not. I want more. I want more of you. I want more of us.”
“I told you this was a bad idea.”
“Because you actually like me?”
“Yes,” I snapped. “I actually like you, and I don’t want to hurt you by being emotionally unavailable. So I know I should stop having sex with you, but I don’t want to stop having sex with you because it’s really good sex and it blows out all the clouds in my brain where nothing makes sense and when you’re inside me suddenly the world is quiet and I feel like I’m not drowning.”
My words came to a halt and the horror was immediate. I hastily clapped my hands over my mouth, as if that could somehow put all the words back inside me where they belonged.
Instead, they hung in the air between us.
“I have to go,” I blurted out.
“Why?”
“Because I just emotionally splattered all over you and I need a chance to?—”
His lips covered mine and his hand tore through my hair. I closed my eyes and pressed a palm to his chest. I sank into him for a moment before ripping myself away, before putting distance between us. I scrambled back and stood.
I placed my fingers to my swollen lips. “I can’t, Declan. I’m going back to New York.”
“Are you?”
“Yes,” I said, even though I was hardly sure.
“You’re going back to New York after admitting you don’t like it and there’s nothing for you there.” When I remained silent, he stood up and nodded. “You don’t want to go back to New York. But you’re willing to run back there because there’s something for you here now. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you.”
I didn’t reply, my head crammed too full of thoughts that were taking root and not letting go.
Without another word, I turned and left the cabin. I grabbed my boots and didn’t even bother putting them on. A grave mistake when I stepped on a rock that dug into the arch of my left foot.
The main house was dark and quiet, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to run into Muddy and explain to her why I was coming home at ten o’clock when she knew I had plans to spend the night with Declan.
I trod quietly up the stairs and into my bedroom and ensured my door closed without a sound.
And then I went to the closet, flipped on the light, and shut myself inside.
I stared at my cell phone for all of two seconds and then I called my sister.
“This better be an emergency,” she groused. “I was just about to fall asleep.”
I winced. I hadn’t even thought of the time difference. “I slept with Declan a few nights ago and now I’m afraid that I like him. Like, like him like him.”
She paused and then said, “I’m waking up Wyn and Poet. And then I’m calling you back.”
The line went dead, and my screen flashed before going dark. A few minutes later, it buzzed.
“Hello?”
“You’re on speaker, and we’ve congregated,” Salem said.
“Mildred is here, too,” Wyn added.
“So tell them what you told me,” Salem commanded.
I sighed. “I slept with Declan a few nights ago and I think I actually like him.”
