Page 41 of Burned in Stone
“But?”
“But then you happened.” She looks up at me, eyes shining. “You kept showing up. Warning off other men. Looking at me like I was worth something to you instead of someone else’s damaged goods. And I wanted to say yes so badly, Cash. Every time you asked, every time you touched me, I wanted to just... let go.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She laughs, but it’s bitter. “Do you remember that night all the old ladies made Steel take them out clubbing in Millbrook? You guys were out of town on a run and Ginger declared it girls night. It would have been a couple of months after we first met.”
My jaw clenches. “Supply-closet Derek.”
She smiles a little to herself, but she seems sad. “Yeah. You wouldn’t even look at me for two weeks straight. You know, I honestly thought you hated me after that. Like I’d crossed some unspoken line and you were done.”
“I wasn’t mad at you.” I squeeze her knee. “I wanted to find Derek and staple him to the supply closet wall, sure. But you?Fuck, Mercy. I was obsessed. I hated the idea of some other guy touching you.”
“I know.” She lifts her eyes to meet mine, and this time her watery smile is aimed at me. “Except there was no Derek.”
“The fuck? What the hell, Mercy?”
“It was one of Gabriel’s buddies. An ex-cop from Ailington who just ‘happened to be passing through’.” She uses her fingers as air quotes. “He cornered me when I went to the bathroom, reminded me what would happen if Gabriel found out I was being unfaithful. Said Gabriel wouldn’t care about jurisdiction or consequences—he’d take down the whole MC just to hurt me.”
The rage that builds in my chest is white-hot. “He fucking threatened you? In front of Steel?”
“Oh, god. No. Please don’t get mad at Steel. He had no idea. No one did. I lied about what happened and who was texting me because I didn’t want to drag down the mood.”
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I figured it was for the best—you not talking to me. We’d been getting closer, and I thought if I kept my distance, Gabriel would just... fade out. Maybe even back off.”
“But he didn’t back off.”
She shakes her head. “And I didn’t keep my distance.”
“I wouldn’t have let you. Hell, Ididn’tlet you.”
“I know.” Mercy snorts softly and wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. “We got real close there, andgod, Cash, if we hadn’t gotten that call, I would’ve given you everything.”
My hand tightens on her knee. “After that night, after you told me we should just be friends, I figured I’d blown it. Thought maybe I pushed too hard.”
She shakes her head, face crumpling a little. “No. You were perfect. I just—everything felt too big. Too fast. Gabriel, the club, what I was feeling for you... I panicked.”
“It hurt,” I admit, my voice a little hoarse. “Seeing you at the bar after that, acting like nothing happened. I’d get so mad, because I fucking knew we were something. I’d come home and tell myself to just give you space and not take it personal. But it was always personal, Mercy. That was the fuckin’ problem.”
“I hated it too.” Her voice cracks. “Every time you walked out of Devil’s, I wanted to run after you. Tell you I was lying, that I wanted you so bad it scared me. But I kept thinking—if Gabriel saw, if he even suspected...”
“He’d come after me and my brothers.”
She nods. “And now it’s all happening anyway. He’s here, the club’s in danger, and we lost three months pretending we didn’t care about each other.”
I lift her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “If that’s what we were pretending, then both of us fucking suck at it.”
Mercy snorts, a hiccupy almost-laugh. “I’m so sorry, Cash.”
I stop her before the apologies can multiply, before she can find new ways to blame herself for my damage and hers. “You don’t ever apologize for surviving,” I say, steady so it sticks. “Not to me, not to anyone. Gabriel’s the one who oughta beg forgiveness, not you. You did what you had to do.”
She tries to laugh, but it shudders out sounding like grief. “It doesn’t feel that simple, Cash.”
“It never is. But I get it better than you think.” Because I do. I know what it’s like to smile at people who scare you, to play along with their games because refusing means consequences you can’t afford. I know what it’s like when someone with power decides you’re theirs to control, and your only weapon is making yourself less interesting, less available, lessthere.
The difference is, no one looked for me when I disappeared into the streets. Mercy had a marriage license and a cop’s badge keeping her locked in place.
