Page 4 of Desolation
Every year, we celebrate as a family, just us. They always try to make the whole day about me and I both love and hate it. They deserve to be celebrated and made to feel special too. But this year, they’ve decided it should beallabout me, which is the exact opposite of what I want.
Try convincing them of that, Lana.
Mentally shaking my head at their stubborn, mule-like behavior, I put my arms around the twins’ shoulders and squeeze them closer to me in a faux hug, luring them into a false sense of security. Just when they relax, I tip myself backwards, falling on the soft ground and letting their heads crash in the space my body had occupied. Their heads knock together and they grunt at the force of the collision.
“Lana!” they both yell, exasperated, making me cackle like a hyena.
I slap my knees as my eyes tear up and my stomach begins to hurt from the force of the laughter. You’d think they’d learn after the hundredth time!
I am definitely the funniest person I know.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe that continues to work,” I wheeze out between bouts of laughter from my place on the forest floor.
It’s so much easier to fuck with them than to show my emotions. It’s safer that way. If I don’t shareanything, I’ll be less tempted to share my romantic feelings towards them.
As my laughter dies down, it clicks in my head that no one is laughing along with me.That’s unusual.
I wipe the tears from my cheeks and look at the twins, rubbing the side of their heads and joining the guys standing in front of me. While I was busy amusing myself, the guys apparently left their sitting positions to imitate a line of soldiers before me.
Well, shit. This got real.
Feeling completely out of my comfort zone at the unexpected tension, I fiddle with the edges of my faded blue sleeves.Why are they all staring at me?
“That’s the thing, Little One.” Hale stalks to where I’m pushing myself into a seated position on the ground, eyes on me like I’m his prey, and squats in front of me. “We don’t believe you. You’re different this year. We’ve known each other our entire lives. You think we don’t see it? The real you that you try to bury away from us? You think you can hide fromus?”
Fuck, he’s so intense. Someone get me a fan to cool off.
I will never become accustomed to Hale’s calm, dominant nature. When that sexy, authoritative side of him comes out, I want to rub up against him like an animal in heat. I can see where it comes from. Before coming to Beth’s home where he met us, he was raised by a strict, military foster family.
Without Hale, I don’t know where we’d be. The rest of us are way too goofy to take the ‘end of the world,’ as the conspiracy theorists say, seriously for too long.
I take in his broad chest and strong shoulders, blocking me from the dying fire and the other guys. He’s the biggest of the group, with Ash a very close second. Despite that, neither of them—actually,noneof them—have ever made me feel intimidated. When I’m around them, all I feel is safe, comforted.
I don’t realize that I’ve looked away from him as I zone out, until he uses a finger under my chin to turn my gaze back to him. The longer strands of his messy, light brown hair fall forward. Even in the dark of the night and behind the curtain of his hair, his icy-blue gaze cuts through to my soul, trying to pry all of my secrets out of me.
My pulse quickens and my breaths become erratic from the heat radiating from his body. He wants my attention and he’s got it.Justnot in the way it should be.
My gaze falls to his plush lips that are testing my will power. Would they feel as soft as they look?Will I ever get a chance to know?
“I asked you a question, Lana,” he says, softly but firmly, startling me from my intense inspection of his finer features.
It feels like my nerves are on fire. The intensity in the air unsettles me so I place a coy smile on my lips, deliberately provoking him to offset the effect he’s having on me. Fluttering my eyelids, I feign ignorance. “What was the question again, Sir?”
At the unintentional breathiness in my words andveryintentional choice of title, Hale’s eyes light up. He leans in closer and lines those delectable lips that I can’t stop dreaming about with my ear. His earthy scent tickles my soul, evoking memories of a garden of cedarwood and oak trees from our childhood. I love that he carries that scent on him.
In barely a whisper, he says, “You heard me, Little One.”
Oh, so he’s bringing out the heavy artillery today.
Growing up, the boys always towered over me, which was where the nickname derived from. Even though I’ve grown into my five-foot-nine frame, Hale still likes to use it to get what he wants. He knows using my childhood nickname always touches a soft spot in my heart.
Though the finger under my chin remains, I lower my eyes to the ground. He’s never acted quite like this before and it’s threatening to shatter the carefully crafted seal on my emotions.
I’ve known these guys my entire life, but the mask I hold in place, is even older than my friendship with them. There are still some memories, parts of my past that I hide from them. Things that stay in my head but evade my tongue for a reason.
He’s still waiting on an answer.
So low that I can barely hear myself, I mutter, “Yes, you guys know me. But I don’t want anything to change. Our dynamic has worked between us for so long and … I justcan’tlose you all. You guys are all I have.”
