Page 8 of Desolation
I groan. “I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal! They deserve to feel celebrated just as much as I do, you know?”
She grabs my hand and squeezes. “I can’t believe my babies are all grown up.” Rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand, she sighs before continuing, “It seems like just yesterday you came home with me but forever since we became family. I thank the Goddess every day that we found each other. I can’t believe you’ll all be twenty-one soon!”
Is she still on the Goddess kick?She thanks the ‘Goddess’ so much recently, she has me saying it without thought.
I squeeze her hand right back, feeling a lightness in my chest that can only be described as pure love, “We’re the lucky ones to have found you.”
She waves me off. “Don’t let this old fart keep you up with her mushy words. Go get some sleep.” Picking my hand up, she kisses it before patting it. “I love you.”
I hop up and make my way out of the room, singing my typical response, “Love you more.”
“You know you always lose this battle, Lana! I loved you first so there is simply no way to love me more, for I have loved you longer.”
“Doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying,” I toss over my shoulder on my way out.
“Lana,” she calls, just as I’m almost out of the door and I halt in my tracks to listen. “I know why you don’t want to celebrate your birthday this year. Maybe it’s time to share those reasons with boys?”
I stay there for a second, pondering if I’m ready to open up that can of worms. Maybe she’s right? Maybe they’ll make the day more lowkey compared to previous birthday’s if I tell them.
“I’ll think about it,” I relent and head up the stairs to my room.
My last memory with my birth family is my mom’s 21stbirthday. I was only a toddler so the faded images of a birthday cake, her smile, and group hugs might be imaginary, but they’re still there all the same. Maybe next year, I’ll celebrate my 22ndbirthday. But this year, I don’t want to celebrate reaching an age my mother only got to briefly touch before her death.
Shaking the thought out of my head, I mull back over Beth’s recent obsession with the ‘Goddess.’ For the past few months, she’s been going to a new temple that believes in the Greek Gods and Goddesses. Her chosen temple worships Gaia, the Goddess of Earth, praying for her to stop the natural disasters plaguing the world.
Supposedly while she was shopping at a nearby farmers market, she felt a pull on her soul that drew her to the temple. She always speaks so highly of their outdoor services, describing the weight lifting off her every time she attends, so much so, that I’ve been considering going with her to see what it’s all about. I’ve never felt drawn to an ideology before but the guys and I have an affinity for nature so who knows? Maybe Gaia will be the right fit for us.
After changing into my white tank top and light blue sleep shorts in my room, I make my way back down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Damn beer, making my mouth feel like the Sahara Desert. I would have much preferred tequila tonight, my drink of choice, but they cut me off after last time. Supposedly, I wouldn’t stop singing Queen’sWe Are The Championsfor two hours so they hid my stash of the liquid gold.
We’ll be reunited soon, my love.
As I grab a cup from the cupboard and fill it from the fridge dispenser, a chorus of laughter from upstairs interrupts my reminiscing about the good ol’ days with my good friend, tequila.
Odd.Everyone’s normally winding down at this time.
I down my water in a single breath and sneak upstairs on my tiptoes, a mystery theme music playing in my head as I ascend. I pop my head into the twins’ room where all the guys are gathered, talking quietly amongst themselves.
That’s not suspicious at all.
I narrow my eyes, “Care to share what’s so funny, dudes?”
Leo and Luke jump into the air at the sound of my voice and Zedd’s head snaps to me. Ash and Hale are the only ones who keep their composure with their arms crossed over their wide chests.
My eyes narrow further. Clearly, they were expecting me to be in bed already. I’m not sure why they were laughing so loud then when they’re normally very courteous.
It must have been really funny.Now I have to know.
Fully entering the doorway and jutting my hip out, I cross my arms across my chest in defiance, and wait for someone to fill me in. The phantom sound of crickets chirping plays in my brain as I stare them down, tapping my foot on the ground impatiently. The twins look at some random part of the room, scratching their heads as the rest of the guys avoid my gaze.
Huh. It’s like that then.
Assholes.
I purse my lips. Ignoring the pang of hurt in my chest at being left out, I turn to leave, yelling over my shoulder. “Fine! Exclude the chick. Keep talking about boobs, vaginas and porn or whatever.”
Soft curses sound behind me but I don’t pay them any mind.They want to leave me out? Fine.They can keep their dick cards and wave them high in the air. I’ll be here with my vagina, all sad and lonely.
I hurry down the hall and close my bedroom door behind me. Holding in my screams of frustration as I fall face first onto my bed, my body bouncing on the plush mattress as I wallow.What a fucking night.
