Page 91 of Desolation
It finally happened.
I had expected to feel shy and embarrassed afterwards, but instead I'm filled to the brim with confidence and love.
Heat continues to course through my veins. Ash had told me that he wouldn't hold back when it came to sex butholy shit, I hadn't expected such a dominating first time. Even more, I hadn't expected tolike it.
As I pull my body away from where we're still fused together, I try to control my panting breaths. I sound like I ran a marathon, though I virtually did nothing except moan and attempt to look sexy during it.
We all have our roles to play, right?
Collapsing onto my side, I glance up at Ash, still on his knees, looking down at me with an unidentifiable emotion in his gaze. Absentmindedly, I rub my ass where he spanked me, harder than I expected from any of my guys. The burning sensation still lingers.
He lies down next to me, pulling me into his chest. Ignoring the sweat dripping off of both of us, I snuggle in, soaking up the feeling of this moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life. It isn't how I pictured my first time but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Part of me is relieved that he didn't treat me like fragile glass, ready to shatter at the slightest of wrong moves. The pace of the whole thing didn't give me a second to overthink what we were doing—and definitely no time to relive old memories.
My soul sighs in bliss, slowly mending the remaining cracks in my heart from my past.This was perfect for me. For us.
He rubs my back lightly, making me want to purr like a damn house cat. I know we still have a truckload of shit to deal with but for the first time, I feel like we have a chance at getting things back to normal between our group.
We can make this work.
Tapping his chest with my finger, I ask, "Do you think you're ready to tell the guys about what's going on as well?"
Nervousness settles into my stomach at how they would react to his news and, even worse, the news that we slept together. I don't want anyone to be jealous or angry, especially with how Ash has been acting the past few days.
He still deserves to be loved; despite the demons he's warring with. I won't give up on him. We all have our issues to overcome.
He squeezes me closer to him, flattening me to him, before he answers, "No."
My eyebrows draw in.What the fuck?
Nibbling on my lower lip, I wonder how best to proceed, not wanting to rush him but knowing they deserve the truth. He needs to mend things with them, just as much as he does with me—especially Zedd. A pang of despair stings me at the thought of how he treated Zedd just hours ago.
I hedge. "You need to. They deserve to know what's going on, so they can support you as well."
"Oslana, they are not of my concern.Youare of my concern."
Why the fuck does he keep calling me that?
I push away to look him in the eyes. "Dude, why do you keep calling me that? And they are most definitely your concern. You've been a complete ass to them, especially Zedd!"
His face turns stone cold and his eyes melt into the obsidian black.Oh fuck.Did they have specks of black that I didn't notice before?
Fear rushes through me. How am I supposed to handle this without violence? My energy reserves are still running low from everything I threw at him earlier and I'm not sure I even know how to call upon my powers like that again. It felt like instinct before.
A dark voice I barely recognize, and that is most definitely not Ash, has the hair on my arms standing up. "I call you Oslana because that is your name. I do not owe them any answers, for they are beneath me."
Pushing up, I come to stand next to the bed and look for clothes, suddenly not wanting to be on display. "We are one unit, Ash. One family. How can you say that about them?"
His cold eyes track me as I move to the dresser, pulling out flannel sleep pants and a tank top. I quickly step into the pants and pull over the shirt as he answers with a dismissive wave and a callousness that has me freezing. "They are not our family. Youhaveno family besides me. I killed your parents and I will make sure to kill these roaches again. Pay them no mind."
Killed my parents?
Shivers wrack my body as ice seeps through my veins and my heart splinters at the man before me. This feels like a completely different person. I don't recognize any of my mate in those piercing black eyes.
My voice trembles. "Ash?"
One corner of his mouth quirks up, as deep violet flames flare up around his body, burning every part of the bed touching his skin. I take slow, hesitant steps to the bedroom door, not turning my back on him as he lounges in the bed with the flames licking at him. He looks like the Devil incarnate, grinning at me, as my heart pounds so fast and loud, it's all I can hear in my head.
"I'll forgive you for screaming his name this one time but next time, you'll be screaming mine. Your true mate's.Anshar."
