Page 62 of Desolation
“Good job. I’m going to probe now. Don’t freak out.”
I keep my eyes closed at her words, not wanting to break my trance, focusing on staying calm, even though I’m nervous as hell for her. The woman’s freaking probing my mind and body!At least buy a girl dinner first.
“Loosen up, Lana,” she says, a reprimand in her voice.
I force myself to relax.
A warmth spreads from my head to my neck and lands in my chest, where it expands outwards. I almost jump away at the discomforting sensation of her tugging around near my heart.
She sighs and lets go of my hands. I open my eyes to look at her. “The good news is that I found it. The bad news is that you’ve got that shit locked up like a damn prisoner in your own body.”
I frown. I didn’t do shit to my power. It locked itself up.
Lilli speaks up. “Maybe Gaia locked it up, knowing Lana was going to grow up in the human realm?”
I remember my brief conversation with Gaia. “She told me that I would need to be able to harness my powers enough to sense my realm. Once I cross over into it, my full powers and memories from my previous life will return. Maybe this is part of the process?”
Serenity shakes her head. “I don’t think this is Gaia locking the powers away since she’s coming into her true form. I think this is Lana subconsciously not wanting to face what happened in her first life.” She meets my eyes. “Perhaps your soul isn’t ready to face it and is protecting you.”
Damn, talk about baggage.
Not wanting to feel discouraged, I shrug. “Well, I’m willing to work on connecting with my powers for however long it takes to unlock enough to get to my realm.”
Approval crosses over Serenity’s face as Lilli smiles at my statement.
Serenity hums. “Maybe Gaia chose the right person for your realm after all. Perhaps I judged you incorrectly. Time will tell if you’ve changed.”
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Is she apologizing?
Before I can respond, she orders me to close my eyes, relax myself as before and to try to locate and connect with my power.
However long it takes.
Sweat drips down my face and I grow more frustrated with every failed attempt. Doubt is beginning to creep in. I’ve been here for hours. My head feels like it’s pounding and my body is stiff from sitting in the same position for so long.
I’m giving it my all but I just can’t make that connection. Every time I think I’m close, it slips out of my fingers and continues to evade me.
I’m trying, Gaia.
Lilli left shortly after Serenity ordered me to fall into a meditative state, saying she had errands to run. Meanwhile, Witch Bitch left to help out with the guys’ training, saying I needed to have room to focus alone.
Despondent and exhausted, I force myself up and stretch out the stiffness. I wander over to the weapons room where the guys are training and my eyes almost bug out at the scene before me.
All of my guys are shirtless, sweating, sporting huge grins, while holding a different color glowing orb of their power in their hands.
What the…
Leo’s is a burnt-orange, while Luke’s is sapphire, confirming our earlier thoughts that they’re fire and water.Typical twin shit. No biggie.
Zedd has white, while Hale’s is a green. Wind and earth, probably? That rounds out the four typical elements.
I try to make sense of the violet in Ash’s hand. What could that be?
Each of Serenity’s men is smiling and clapping my guys on their shoulders. My heart swells with pride at how quickly they’ve progressed but a seed of disappointment plants itself in my mind.Will I ever be able to connect with my powers? How am I supposed to lead us when they’re already surpassing me?
A light touch on my shoulder draws my gaze to Serenity’s gentle eyes. “Our powers are much more complex to understand. Each of our men only have the affinity for one element whereas we hold them all. Be patient with yourself. We’ll get you there.”
Knowing that she senses my internal battle, maybe even relates to it, creates the beginnings of a kinship between us. She saw me having a weak moment and chose to be there for me.
