Page 72 of Desolation
Ugh, there goes all of my man-candy inspiration for the day. How am I supposed to work in such dire conditions?
I smirk at Luke’s frown at being called aboyas they follow after Serenity’s mates like lost ducklings.
Serenity heads towards the door on the left and waves her hand at me like a dog. “Come, Lana.”
Bite me, bitch.
Begrudgingly, I follow her into the room, surprised to find that it has a sole light attached to the ceiling and that the walls are completely made up of mirrors. It’s extremely disorienting to see Serenity and myself in so many different angles in such low lighting.
“This is our room used for self-reflection. Witches often struggle to find their powers, just as you are. To assist in the process, we created a soundproof room that forces you to see yourself from all angles. You have nowhere to hide from yourself, so to speak, and you become more in tune with your inner being.” She lowers herself to the ground in the middle of the room. “Normally, I’d leave you alone here. However, I’m going to ask you a series of questions to try to probe you into finding where the problem lies in connecting with your powers as you look at yourself in the mirror.”
Great, Witch Bitch is now my psychologist. Lucky me.
With great reluctance, I lower myself and find us sitting in a similar position as yesterday. I mentally prepare myself for the inevitable discomfort that’s coming and set aside my anger from this morning or we’ll never make any progress.She’s lucky I’ve turned over a new leaf and haven’t pranked her back yet.
I lean back on my hands and nod at her. “Alright, let’s start.”
Without wasting a second, she fires off questions and scenarios that truly make me wonder if this is a normal process.
“Do you think you’ll be able to save your realm from further devastation?”
“Uh … right now? No. In the future, I hope so.”
“Do you think you’ll be a leader that your kingdom will respect and declare loyalty to?”
“Honestly, I haven’t really thought about being the leader of anyone yet. I’ve just focused on the current situation at hand, accessing my powers.”
“Have you considered the possibility that you, your men, and your kingdom could all fall into irreversible desolation if you don’t take this seriously?”
I’m feeling quite judged right now. Didn’t she just tell me yesterday that I’m the right fit for this job?
“Yes, I have. I’m not a heartless bitch.”
She steamrolls past my brewing anger. “Do you believe that you are deserving of this role and the powers bestowed upon you?”
My brain screeches to a halt and I consider the complexity of the question. I know I tend to be rash and emotional when angered but I’m also fiercely protective of those I love. Will I be able to calm down and rationalize decisions that need to be made as a ruler? Time will tell.
I shrug. “I think I can grow into the person who is deserving of both.”
As she mulls over my answer, I sit up straight and wait for more of her invasive questions.What a fucking blast this is.
Suddenly, she leans forward and grasps one of my hands in hers, looking at me like she’s confused. “Have you had a traumatic event happen in this life that makes you feel unworthy? I know your previous one did but I think there’s more to your power block than that. This is the only question you’ve hesitated to answer and we need to dive deeper.”
No fucking way am I about to spill my deepest, darkest secrets of being molested or seeing the woman I considered my mother die before my very eyes. Not to the woman who cut me off the second I accidentally inquired about her dead mate the night before. I have no intention of divulging to someone who can’t do the same without throwing a fit.
She’s taking way too much pleasure in her stunt this morning for me to believe it was purely with the intention of trying to shock my powers into responding.
Not today, Witch Bitch.
Choosing my words carefully, I extract my hand from her grasp. “I’d assume most people have experienced a traumatic event in their lives by my age. The earth realm is starting to fall into shambles, if you haven’t noticed.”
Her erratic mood swings—from being a bitch to acting like we could be friends—are giving me whiplash and I’m not going to entertain this ploy of hers.
She falls into silence as she considers me. Ignoring those unnerving eyes of hers, I look around the room, wondering how my men are doing with their training. They made so much progress yesterday that I’m sure they’ll leave me even further in the dust today. It’s a sobering thought because we keep getting told I need to hurry and figure this shit out. Time is running out.
She sighs and hangs her head. When she looks back up at me, it’s with a determined glint in her eyes. “I know it’s a lot to ask you these questions, since we haven’t yet developed the trust required to be open between us. However, if you want to take this training seriously, I’m going to need you to put a little faith in the fact that Gaia chose me as your trainer for a reason. I feel like we can truly make progress today, if you allow yourself to open up to me.”
Can we?
