Page 8 of Detonation
But we need Lana. Weneedher.
“Where did Lana go?” I say, a plea in my voice, sounding distressingly similar to Luke all those years ago.
In an echo of the past, sorrow floods his gaze. He flails for an answer but finds no words to comfort me.
Shots of adrenaline spike in my veins and suddenly, I can’t stay still. Pacing, I wear a hole in the floor, my body refusing to relax enough to sit down. It’s better than collapsing on the ground.
For minutes, the room is silent, except for the sound of my steps against the wood paneling. The weight of unanswered questions hangs in the air between us. Is she in danger? Was she taken or—
I come to a standstill. I know he’s thinking the same thing. “Did she leave us?”
Luke takes a deep breath and exhales, lowering himself onto the couch. His gaze locks on the coffee table and I glance over to see what’s caught his attention, my heart stopping at the sight of the paper with Lana’s sprawled handwriting on it.
A part of me hesitates. What if she realized we don’t matter to her as much as Ash? We won’t be able to handle being abandoned by the woman we love.
No. Stop it, Leo. We’re her mates. There must be a reason. She isn’t our mother.
With uncertain hands, Luke reaches for the letter and reads aloud:
“Please forgive me for the choice I have made. I know it will hurt and you may not understand why I had to do this.
I can’t let Anshar take Ash from us. I have to get him back—for us. What if we waited and it was too late by the time we got there? I would never forgive myself for not trying on my own. I have to try everything in my power to reunite my family.
I couldn’t take you with me. I can’t risk your lives. You are too precious to me. The pieces of my soul.
Seeing the way Serenity and her men ache from Reese’s death all those years ago...
I could never live with losing any of you.
Please train hard with Serenity and her men. When you are ready, they will bring you to me. I promise you.
I love you, my mates. In every life we have had together, you are mine. When we pass from this world, you will remain mine.
Until we meet again,
Lana.”
Hot, angry tears stream down my face, my gut wrenching with the all too familiar feeling of abandonment. Though her reasoning resonates with me, it doesn’t soothe the ache. She’s so strong, so powerful, and we’re unfit to be by her side.
Luke passes the letter to me as I take note of the smeared ink, dried in water marks, on the paper. Did she cry while writing this? I stare at the marks, faintly aware of Luke leaning back on the couch with a loud sigh.
“Fuck, this stings,” he says.
I keep my eyes on the twists and turns of her writing as my gut continues to churn. Placing the note back on the table, I lean back next to my brother, a whirlwind of emotion consuming me. Fisting my hands in the material of the couch, I squeeze hard, breathing through the anger that’s beginning to overpower me. Fire licks under the surface of my skin.
Rage. Unadulterated rage.
At myself, for not being strong enough to be by her side.
At Lana, for running off into an unknown realm alone, putting her life in danger.
At Gaia, for keeping something so important from us.
Breathe.
Being angry won’t fix it.
Just breathe.
