Page 84 of Detonation
No. Do not feel bad for him, Lana.
Vines grow from the floor, up to the ceiling between Gaia and us, building a barrier.
"You will not keep her from me, Gaia," Erebus declares before the barrier is complete.
A green energy surrounds the vines, pulsating as if it's alive and thumping to a heartbeat.
Anshar draws my attention back to him. "I was so angry at your rejection. But more than that, I felt abandoned. You were the only person who understood me after my brother died. My parents acted like his death never happened while I mourned his loss alone. You were the only one there for me and when you rejected me, I turned to the only thing that I thought would help me feel not so alone. Power."
A cough comes from him and I fight to remember all the terrible things he's done to me and this realm, and not the memories of him as my best friend growing up.
"The things I have done are unforgivable and I know that. I have accepted where my soul is going when I pass from this life. I just ask that you try to remember the fond memories."
Angry tears form in my eyes. "You raped me. You killed thousands of fae with your army. You killed my family and my mates. Yet you ask me to try to remember the good memories?"
He squeezes my arm softly as black veins spread up his neck, "I don't ask for myself. I ask for you."
"What does that even mean?" I ask, wrenching my arm from his grip as he rests his hand on his stomach, near the wound.
"When the bad memories seep in and you have flashbacks, try to remember the good memories from both of our lives. The ones with your parents. With Beth. With your best friend. With your mates. Not me. Never me."
My mouth flaps open and shut as he takes a deep, shaky breath in before continuing, "I know I’ve scarred you. I know the ugly wounds I’ve left behind. I can't take them back. No matter how much I want that, Lannie, I can’t. All I can hope is that the good in your life wasn’t completely eclipsed by my actions and that you can live a long, happy life after this."
My heart wars with his words as my tears fall onto his chest. Before I can respond—or decide if I even want to—he speaks. "I will let you have your final moment with your mate. Goodbye, Lannie,"
With that parting, warmth and love seep into those green eyes as Ash stares up at me now.
"Hey, baby."
I fall apart onto his chest, sobbing in the crook of his neck, my nose running. "You can't leave me. You can’t, Ash.”
"Thank you for making my life so full of laughter and love, Lana. For understanding my pain as a child and carrying it with me into adulthood. For never thinking less of me for it."
"No!” I push up from his chest. “No, you can't say goodbye to me. Don't give up on us, Ash."
At that same moment, the barrier made of vines burns, red flames licking at them. Through a hole in the barrier, I see Gaia with blood leaking through a wound in her chest, breathing heavily with determination alight in her eyes.
"I love you, Lana,” Ash says softly. “Forever. Death can't take that from us."
The black veins spread into his face and towards his eyes. Tears fall from his eyes and onto his cheeks as he grimaces with his final breath before he stills, his chest no longer rising. I pull him into me, leaning on him, kissing his lips as the tears flow and my body shakes with my sobs. My own breathing comes in strangled gasps as I hear my name being yelled but I can’t respond.
Ash.
Warm arms cover me and I breathe in the cedar scent of Hale. Luke, Leo, and Zedd come into sight, going to the other side of Ash's body, their faces blotchy as they fight their own emotion at the sight of their fallen brother.
I hug Ash's body to mine and look at my mates through my blurry, tear-filled vision. "I couldn't save him."
Hale rubs my arms and kisses my head. He comforts, though his voice breaks with his words. "This isn't your fault, Little One."
I struggle to breathe as my breaths come in gasps. "I wasn't strong enough … once again, I wasn’t strong enough"
Gaia cries out and I whip my head towards her, seeing her on her knees with Erebus standing over, a shadow dagger pressed against her chest.
"No!" I scream, my grief ringing in the four walls of the chamber.
Erebus’s red eyes stare right at me. "Say goodbye to your mother, little queen."
I can’t lose another mom.
