Page 46 of Outcast
What had I done to deserve this?
Warm arms surrounded me, pulling me up from the ground and cradling my head on a firm chest. I expected Seth's support to help me feel better like it had before, but this time it didn't.
He had stood by countless times and watched them bully and mistreat me, and maybe it had been the excitement of the mate bond and my wolf pushing me to accept him that had made me forget about that. But my wolf wasn't in my mind at that moment, and the reminder of the pack’s harassment and hatred of me brought it all boiling back to the surface.
Working my hands up between us, I pushed at his chest to put distance between us, but his arms only tightened around me like a steel band. My anger blended with my sorrow as hot tears fell down my face.
"Let me go!" I screamed, needing to be alone in my pain.
"I will never let you go, Kira," he grunted out as I pressed against his ribcage, refusing to give up despite his superior strength.
Curling my hands into fists, I pounded his chest over and over as I cried out, "You didn't give a shit about me before this bond!"
Snarling, he released his arms and quickly grabbed my fists in his hands. Sniffling between sobs, I could barely see him through the tears muddying my vision.
"I was a fool for not seeing the pain they caused you all these years, Kira. Every time I saw you, you just had this...air of confidence, and you refused to show them that they got to you. You seemed like an impenetrable fortress." He sighed before continuing, "I thought you handled it with grace and that you truly didn't give a shit about what they did. The way you brushed it off time and time again..."
His words—and the lost look on his face—made me pause my assault, and his arms quickly encircled me once more.
Had I really seemed so strong?
The idea was absurd to me. I had certainly not thought myself anything of the sort in those moments. They'd broken me. Every fucking time they'd spouted their vile words and harassed me over the past sixteen years, a piece of me had shut down, slowly making me numb to it. But that wasn't strength, that was depression. Surrender.
If people told you that you were a worthless piece of shit enough times, you started to believe that maybe they were right.
In my state of confusion, I had allowed him to pull my head onto his chest, where a sense ofdéjàvu overcame me. Two nights in a row of crying on his chest. Pathetic.
"Talk to me, Kitten," he pleaded with me in a whisper while stroking my hair with his hand.
"Why should I help these people who have brought me nothing but pain?" His chest muffled my voice, but I couldn't find the energy in me to move. My tears had dried up, and a familiar numbness was settling into my limbs and soul.
Silence stretched between us for a few minutes as I repeated that question to myself mentally, truly trying to figure out the answer. After everything I'd endured and the disgusting qualities they'd shown, did the pack truly deserve to be saved?
"Because you're better than us."
Those five words shattered my internal numbness, and I looked up into his eyes, floundering at the emotion reflected back at me.
He continued on as I stared at him in confusion, "Honestly, we probably aren't worth saving—not after how miserable this pack made you by treating you like dirt for so long. But, I don’t believe we should sacrifice thousands of other shifters’ lives because of our pack’s errors either."
I could hear the sincerity in his voice and see the grief he wore plainly on his face, and in that moment, I knew I had already forgiven him for the past. I shouldn’t have yelled at him like I had, but my heightened emotions had driven me to lash out, and that was unfair.
My voice came out a bit shaky, "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so quick to yell at you. I would never give up on any of you. I couldn't just walk away like that."
Hesitantly, he leaned down towards me, and I rose up to meet him, melting against his lips. He kissed me with so much tenderness, as if afraid I'd change my mind. I deepened our kiss, my tongue parting his lips and tangling with his.
Yes, two of my fated hadn't treated me the way I deserved for a long time, but I realized that I was only hurting myself by holding onto the pain. Seth was at least trying with every fiber of his being to be here for me in the way I needed him now.
Jameson tortured himself enough by denying his chance at love and freedom from his pain. I could never add onto that and be able to live with myself.
Seth groaned as my breasts pushed against his chest, and his hands snaked down to palm my ass tightly. He whispered against my lips, "Come home with me."
The offer was enticing, and I felt my body responding But it also reminded me that I couldn't stay in my own home, which was sobering as hell.
Dropping back down flat onto my feet, I glanced back at my broken home. "Okay. But let me see if there's anything salvageable inside first."
His fingers twined with my own as we crossed the short distance to the wreckage of my home, his silent support welcomed this time. It grounded me in the knowledge that I wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe the desolation of this cottage was a sign that I was leaving the past behind and starting anew.
The front door was shattered into wooden splinters littering the ground, and I gingerly walked on top of them as I entered. I let go of Seth's hand as I made quick work of grabbing a clothes bag from next to my cot and shoving the few pieces of clothing that I owned into it. Thankfully, they’d remained unscathed, unlike the rest of my belongings.
