Page 40 of Insurrection
“No,” I shook my head as tears welled in my eyes, “Absolutely fucking not. Explain now. Explain why you and Adrien are both perfectly fine after kissing me. Nothing has changed. My magic is as deadly as ever, so why aren’t you fucking dead?”
Guilt. So much guilt filled his features, and he crouched in front of me, his hands tightening on my legs. My fingers curled in on themselves, nails biting into my skin, as I waited for the truth. The truth that I could feel was about to shatter my heart into a million tiny fucking pieces.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I echoed. “You don’t know why you aren’t dead, or you don’t know why you lied? Because that’s what happened, isn’t it? You lied. I never fucking hurt you. Our kiss was never—”
Betrayal slammed into me. I had felt so guilty, so horrible, for so long because of his accusation. People had hated me. People had relentlessly rejected me because of what he’d started. It was bad enough that I was a hybrid, but for people to treat me like I had some kind of disease that could kill them? Tears streamed down my face as he watched me with a helpless expression.
“Admit it.” My voice was far more controlled than I would have expected. Especially considering the man was shattering my heart. Any wall I thought I'd erected against Drayven was obviously non-existent in truth.
His voice was rough as he looked down at the floor, “Ama, you have to understand—”
“Admit it,” I hissed, leaning forward so we were closer. “Fucking admit it, Drayven.”
“Your kiss never hurt me!” he roared, slamming his fist into the couch beside me as his words settled like rocks hitting the bottom of a well in my chest. Hollow and empty.
I blinked away my tears, feeling a cold chill roll over me as I asked, “Why?”
“I told you. Because you’re mine,” he whispered, his voice strained and his eyes pleading for me to understand. “There was only one way to ensure everyone would leave you alone.”
“You made me a pariah in my own home.”
“It didn't start like that.” He sat back on his heels, “Before I even really started spending time with you, I was told that you would be considered the enemy…the thing between me and the throne. The council for the House of Death was grooming me to take over your father’s position so that there was a different option available rather than you.”
His words were cold and almost robotic.I knew it.I knew it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was young, and I ate up what they told me…and then I met you.”
“And?”
“I had never met someone so fucking perfect in my life.” His words were angry—almost hateful—despite what he was saying, “I was filled with so much anger and confusion. I felt betrayed by what I’d been told, but I still felt loyalty to the council. So, I did something to both distance you from the throne and make sure no one else touched you…touched what was mine.”
“You made me an outcast.” A weird numbness settled over me, and I felt like I was having some sort of odd, out of body experience.
“Yes.” His words were whispered as he looked at my shoulder, shame evident in his face.
I felt so much in that moment. Anger, betrayal, sympathy, affection, heartbreak…all of it slammed into me in a confusing mix that had my head pounding. I pressed my hand to his chest, but he refused to move, his hands tightening on the fabric on either side of me.
“Ama, please—”
“Leave.” My words were cold and hard. Unwavering.
“No.” His temper flared again, “Absolutely not.”
“I wasn’t giving you an option,” I hissed, pushing against him with enough force that it surprised him, and he jerked back. I escaped his hold and ran towards my bedroom door.Mybedroom. Not fucking his, and most definitely notoursanymore.
“You have to understand—”
I spun around, “I don’t have to understand shit, Dray. Get the hell out of here. I don’t care where you sleep, but it is not going to be here.”
I slammed the bedroom doors closed, locking them and leaning against them, head back as I let out a quiet sob before collapsing onto the bed. This was so messed up. I shoved my head under the pillow, hoping like hell that tomorrow would bring more…more of something. I couldn’t hope for anything more than “something” right now.
I fell asleep feeling more betrayed than ever before in my life.
* * *
I was wokenby a crash from the other room and a grunt of pain. I blinked my heavy eyes, stinging from crying myself to sleep, as I slid to the edge of the bed. Looking down, I considered changing out of Drayven’s shirt that I had grabbed and put on when I’d woken up still in my clothes an hour after falling asleep, but it was super comfortable, and frankly…fuck him. When a body slammed against the door, I muttered a curse.
I knew it was Drayven. I knew it, and it made me want to ignore him. What time was it even? I squinted at the clock, realizing it was nearly three in the morning.
