Page 27 of Insurrection
He gestured for me to exit the room ahead of him, "I suppose we'll at least get lost together now. I wouldn't want you to end up accidentally in the House of Fallen's area alone."
Exiting our room, I quirked a brow as I inquired seriously, "What do you think they would do?"
We wandered companionably down the hall in search of a kitchen, Drayven musing, "Honestly, I don't know, and that's what scares me."
My head jerked back in shock at the words "scares me" coming from his mouth. The man was terrifying, and I wasn't sure what in the world could scare him. So I asked. "What, exactly, scares you about that?"
His head swiveled towards me, and his gaze traveled my body, but not in a way that made me feel like he was checking me out in a sexual manner. No, unfortunately it was much worse than that. He looked at me like a man who had found the most valuable thing in the world to him as he admitted, "That I won't be able to protect you."
My lips parted as the meaning behind his words and gaze hit me like a freight train. Alright, all aboard the Ama-is-so-confused train. No, I had to be misinterpreting this completely. Drayven's actions towards me over the past few years cemented the fact that he did not care about me in that manner.
I guessed I'd need to add his name to the list of men whose attention I needed to ignore while I was here. Maybe that was his goal this entire time, just like the rest of them...trip me up and distract me from my one goal here.
Scoffing to myself at how gullible I was, I bit my lower lip and shook my head before I stopped walking and asked him, "Did the rest of the royals from our house tell you to sweet talk me so you could take over the throne when I inevitably mess up here? Was that your goal? Charm yourself into my good graces, just so you could somehow cause me to fuck up here?"
Just the idea of it hurt me much more than I cared to admit, because somehow I'd already allowed myself to open up to the idea of trying to work through our past issues for the sake of our time here together. I couldn't bear the thought of him using that softness for his gain.
I refused to be used like a puppet by anyone.
He didn't answer immediately but came to a standstill, his large frame almost seeming to vibrate with anger at my questions. Without warning, he was suddenly turned around and in front of me, pushing me gently into the wall behind me. Holy hell, what was he doing?
The stones bit into my back as I tried to put space between us, his face stopping just inches from my own as his eyes flashed neon green. "I'm going to say this one time, Ama. So listen closely."
His eyes darted down to my lips as I bit the bottom one nervously. My heart hammered in my chest for a multitude of reasons. I was nervous as fuck for what he was going to say. Recently, he had been surprising the hell out of me with what came out of his mouth. But mostly, I was fighting the memory of how his lips felt against mine.
"I'm here to support you in whatever way I can to ensure you are the one who wins this vote for us. So you can prove to the council that you are fit to lead our house when your father steps down. I know you aren't going to believe that, and hell..." he took a deep breath, "I can hardly believe it myself, but I think maybe I was rash to judge you back then. I let others’ opinions sway my own, and honestly, I was scared of the feelings I had for you. But I can't deny that they are still there and I care about you."
My jaw dropped to the damn floor at his admission, and my brain absolutely blanked. When the emotions began filtering back in, I found I wanted more than anything to believe his words. That piece of me that had grown bitter and spiteful towards him because of the embarrassment and pain he’d caused with his rejection after our kiss was like a thorn in my side. I wanted to let go of that moment so we could move forward.
"I... I don't even know what to say back to that, Dray." The old nickname for him slipped out with ease as I stared back at him, completely shocked and feeling overwhelmed. It was so difficult for me not to assume this was a politically motivated move or one meant to humiliate me. Either of those would have been far easier to believe.
I would handle this tactfully for now and see how it played out. I sure as hell didn’t trust him though. The timing was far too odd for this sudden apology to be a coincidence.
His hands, which had been braced on the wall on either side of me, fell away as he backed up, thankfully giving me some room to breathe. "You don't have to say anything. I just need you to stop questioning the motives of the one person here who actually wants to protect you and see you succeed."
A kernel of hope began to unfurl within me, and I answered, keeping my tone even and unemotional, "Okay. Let's get through this Summit, win, and then maybe we can talk about the rest."
My stomach chose that moment to make another loud appearance, practically roaring at me to feed it. He chuckled and started down the hall again, as if he hadn’t just surprised the hell out of me. "Let's go find you some food before your stomach decides to eatme."
He might not have meant his words to have a sexual connotation, but damn my mind for attaching one to them anyway. I seriously needed to get my hormones under wrap, or I was going to lose this battle before it even began.
Chapter Twelve
Ama
After getting lost and redirected roughly eight times in the labyrinth of a castle, we had finally found the dining hall for visitors. They had a buffet set up, and I had stacked my plate full of pizza and chicken wings...and had all but stolen the bottle of ranch dressing I found. I didn't care what anyone said, ranch was good onliterallyeverything.
Apparently, it was something the human realm came up with, and honestly, I needed to go up there and thank them one day. They were heroes in my eyes for this delicacy.
Drayven had eaten a variety of foods, from burgers, to steak, to a million side items. We had been in bliss the entire time, completely overindulging ourselves in silence, not uttering a word as we practically breathed in the food. The chefs here were phenomenal. It probably didn’t help that we had been traveling all day and been relatively stressed about the Summit in general. It was called comfort food for a reason.
Back in our room, we lounged on the couch and chair in the sitting area like lazy lards. Snuggling further into the couch on my side, I let the haze of my full stomach and mental exhaustion lull me into a half-asleep state. My mind drifted as if I was sleeping, but I was also very much aware of Drayven's snores from the chair near me.
We’d ended up on the furniture out here instead of the bed, likely because neither of us knew yet how to approach the topic of sleeping in the same bed. Granted, it was a king bed and we wouldn't be touching if we stuck to our sides, but the notion of sharing it was still such an intimate one.
We had a few hours yet until we needed to have that conversation, and I began to get frustrated at my body fighting sleep. Despite my drowsiness, it felt as if my mind was running a million miles a minute, and I groaned quietly as I pushed myself to a sitting position and glanced over at Drayven's large frame awkwardly slumped in the sitting chair. His head lolled onto his shoulder, his mouth hanging slightly open as he snored lightly.
He was even more handsome in his sleep, if that was possible. The constant worry lines that creased his forehead and the spot between his brows were gone, his face smooth as he slept peacefully without a care in the world. I found myself longing to see his face like this more often. He carried such a heavy weight on his shoulders at all times, trying to be a “perfect Reaper” for the royals, and honestly, I thought it had molded him into someone he wasn't.
