Page 57 of Imbalance
"You?" I clarified.
He swallowed, "Earlier. You're right. I can't ask you to pick me over your other mates. It's not fair." Relief cascaded over me, and I hadn’t even realized until that moment how damned important his decision had been to me.
"I want you here, with me," I promised him as he looked down at my lips and surged forward, the kiss oddly soft and gentle, despite the energy I could feel coursing through him. I let out a soft sound as he finally pulled back, my head dizzy from the kiss.
"If you want me here, I'm here, love. No matter what."
I couldn't deny the joy that flooded my system as I met his lips again because his words were exactly what I'd been hoping for. I felt the walls between us starting to weaken more, and despite feeling exhausted, I began to feel like all the pieces were falling into place for the war we were about to enter.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Adrien
My eyelids were fighting me on staying closed. Or maybe I was fighting them because all I saw when I closed my eyes was the possibility of losing the woman who had become my entire world. My purpose in life. My beauty.
A multitude of scenarios kept playing out in my brain, ranging from Ama being captured and used against us, to even worse—the Dark Elves killing her. We already knew from the assassination attempt that was what they truly wanted, and they wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it took to get it.
I kept telling myself that I wouldn't let that happen and neither would they. It was clear she was the center of all of our hearts and minds, even though some were fighting that within themselves. If push came to shove, I knew each one of them would sacrifice their lives for her.
But I was a realist at the end of the day, and the logical part of my brain couldn't deny that there were multiple outcomes we couldn’t prevent that could put Ama in a grave.
The idea of having Finias glued to her ass and protecting her was a tempting one, but our fiery beauty would never have that. No, we had to give her room to flourish and fight for what she believed in, or she would never forgive us.
Life would have been easier if we had a mate that let us hide her away and carry out the war without her. But that wouldn't be a woman we loved and respected. No, Ama was fucking perfect in her balance of fierce independence with the moments she softened and allowed us to see her emotional depth.
It was that same emotional depth that could end this for us. The elves were a cunning and powerful faction, and I had no doubt they would exploit Ama's relationship with her dad. It was clear in the way her eyes shone as bright as the stars when she talked about her dad that she loved him with everything in her. I knew she'd risk it all for him. She would hand herself over if it prevented his death.
My blood boiled at the thought, and my fist clenched at my side. I was usually a calm man, but I was livid at having to accept that we couldn't guarantee her protection. We had to fucking accept that there was a chance we wouldn't get a happily ever after at the end of this.
I didn't like it one devildamned bit.
My chest heaved with the deep breaths I was forcing myself to take. But no matter how much air I forced into my lungs, no tranquility came with the exhales. I needed to burn off steam somehow, but I didn't know how. I never felt this worked up, but right now, all I could feel was frustration and agitation over this situation.
Opening my eyes, I ached to take in the stars lighting up the night sky instead of the top of the tent we had been placed in. I was drawn to them and often found myself searching for constellations from my studies. It was usually a grounding and calming coping mechanism for me, but I didn’t think I could calm down enough to focus on them right now, anyways.
Swallowing down my groan of contempt for this situation, I focused back on my breathing to try to keep myself from waking the others. They needed to be rested for what lay ahead in the coming days.
Sitting up slowly, I glanced over at Ama's sleeping figure just a few feet away. Noticing the way her breath had one strand of her hair blowing slightly with every exhale had me mesmerized. Seeing her breaths seemed to do the trick, reminding my brain that she was here with us, and she was alive.
Nothing had ever riled me to this level of frustration and anger before. Having to accept that a situation was out of my control and that I couldn't come up with a solution for every scenario was infuriating.
When it came to my parents and sister being trapped under the Dark Elves' control, I felt I was able to be far more rational. I knew deep down that they wouldn't kill them yet. The House of Runes needed prisoners to try to force our hands. While I was still on edge at the thought of my family being under their thumbs right now, I felt a sense of calm in knowing they couldn't afford to kill any more of our family members. Taking out two sets of monarchs was the most they could get rid of if they wanted a majority of the princes and the princess to bow to them in exchange for our families.
Life was a game of strategy, and I was usually damned good at it. I enjoyed sitting in the shadows and taking in information about everyone in any room because it gave me a distinct advantage to learn what made people tick and how to exploit their weaknesses.
And we were entirely fucked with Ama as our weakness.
Her eyelids fluttered open, as if she could sense my gaze on her, and a small yawn slipped from her lips. She stretched and looked around, making sense of the situation at hand. When she mumbled my name in confusion, looking concerned, I realized I needed to hold her. I needed to feel her heart beating strongly to be able to lull myself to sleep—or at least a state that somewhat resembles sleep.
Quickly, I reached for her and dragged her to lay tucked in my arms against my chest. Her hair tickled my nose as I breathed her in, allowing her warmth to seep into me and calm me.
She wiggled in my grip, and as I loosened it, she turned to face me and peered up at me, whispering, "Your heart feels like it's going to burst out of your chest. What's wrong?"
I answered hoarsely, my voice thick with emotion, "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you being ripped away from us in this war."
Instantly, she reached up to cup my cheek in her small palm as her eyes softened in understanding. "I can't promise that everything will be okay, Adrien. I can promise you that no matter what, we are in this together. You have my heart…forever. In this life and every single one after, if we are lucky enough to have another.”
“Ama,” my voice was rough.
