Page 28 of Imbalance
His purple eyes snapped to mine, flashing with something broken within their depths as he admitted, "There was a void in my chest. Before I met you, sometimes I needed a little pain to remind me that I was alive. Pain that Ichoseto receive instead of the kind that was given to me by my parents."
Between his abusive parents, the hundreds of tattoos, and now this, I had to wonder if he had known anythingbutpain.
Before I could react to the raw truth in that statement, he dropped to his knees, and his mouth descended on my pussy, driving all thoughts from my mind. With every flick of his tongue, I moaned louder than the previous time, and by the time he worked a finger into me, I was trembling with the need to come.
He growled against my folds, and his eyes flicked up to mine. The primal desire in them was my undoing, and he worked me right over the cliff I had so quickly built up to. He didn't give me time to soak it in, either, immediately climbing above me and placing his arms on either side of me. He cradled my face in his hands and looked at me like I was his entire world. The delicate way his thumbs brushed against my face had a tear leaking from my eye.
From the moment we met in the courtyard, we’d had this intense connection that drew us together like moths to a flame. It had only intensified, and honestly, Finias had blown me away with his emotional depth and honesty, paired with his lethal protectiveness of me.
I'd never forget when he’d knocked Drayven out cold to “take a nap in the rain” because of what Drayven had done to me with my first kiss. He had known me all of a few minutes, yet he’d already raged at the idea of anyone hurting me.
Finias dropped down to kiss the tear away, then pulled back to look at me once more. "Ama, I'm falling in love with you," he breathed out, leaving himself exposed and vulnerable to me, putting his heart in my hands and entrusting me to not break it.
More tears came at his admission, and my voice trembled as I answered, "I'm falling in love with you too, Fin." Honestly, I was pretty damned sure I was past the “falling” phase.
Using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that continued to fall, he touched his nose to mine and said, "You are my entire world. You've shown me that I have a purpose in life and that there is a reason to wake up every day happy now. I used to wake up and go about every day like a ghost, not truly living. I was a pawn on my parents’ chess board. I thought that was my only worth in life."
I cut him off from continuing, "You're so much more than that, Fin. You were the first one who pulled my carefully constructed walls down and showed me that I was enough and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. That even a hybrid could be loved in a world full of so much hate for what I am."
His face lit up at my response, and he pressed a kiss to my lips before murmuring against them, "You make me feel whole." He took a deep breath before adding, "I also have one other thing to admit."
His gaze darted around like he was struggling with whatever it was, and I reached out to place a palm on his cheek. "You can tell me anything."
Admittedly, the longer I felt him pressed between my thighs, his large body caging my own, the more turned on I became. I desperately wanted to feel every inch of him, but I could tell what he had to say was important.
"I'm a virgin," he breathed out, wincing as he did so, almost as if he expected me to make fun of him for that.
No fucking way.
I was shocked at that, but not in a bad way. I felt even more confident that this was the perfect moment for us to let the rest of the world fall away for just one night and create a beautiful memory for us both.
Reaching down between us, I stroked his cock as I slid my hand that rested on his cheek to the back of his neck. "So am I," I murmured before I crushed his lips to mine.
All of the sweet emotion flowing between us turned into carnal energy that had my pussy slick with need. I groaned as he inserted a finger into me, simultaneously rubbing my clit as he devoured my mouth like he needed me to live.
Hell, maybe he did. Maybe we both needed each other to live. Maybe this was the start of us truly living.
He pulled away from my lips long enough to pant out, "Are you sure?"
A small growl sprang from my lips as I answered, "If you don't, I'll kill you."
"Fuck, you know how much it turns me on when you get bloodthirsty," he groaned as he pulled his finger out of me and stuck two fingers into his mouth, lubing them up with spit before wetting his dick and lining himself up with my entrance.
I widened my legs and took a deep breath, knowing that this probably wouldn't feel amazing at first. Those romance books had always had such mind-blowing sex, but I'd read that the first time was never good. I couldn't get my hopes up for this to rock my world.
There was another part of me that argued against that, that insisted that our mate could do no wrong and that, if anyone, Finias would ensure it was perfect.
"Are you on birth control?" he asked before moving further, eliciting a frustrated sound from me as I writhed around with need.
"All Succubi and Incubi have an internal switch to choose whether to be fertile or not. Apparently, it's so we don't overpopulate the world with our sexual tendencies," I answered, tacking a bit of sarcasm to the end.
He nuzzled my neck and trailed kisses along it as he began to ease into me. The pressure was overwhelming at first, and I squeaked out in surprise, causing him to still and look back into my eyes. Concern was etched on his face as he asked, "Do you want me to stop? I don't want to hurt you."
Taking a deep breath, I shook my head, "No. We just need to take it slow and allow me to adjust, but it is going to hurt a bit."
He looked like he was going to pull out of me as soon as I confirmed it was going to hurt, as if he couldn't bring himself to do that to me. I locked my legs around his waist and began to urge him to move further. "It's going to hurt the first time no matter who does it, Fin. I want this to be with you," I whispered.
Dropping his forehead to mine, he sighed deeply, "Fine, but you have to tell me if you need me to go slower or need a moment before I go further, okay? I don’t trust myself to be in complete control, but I am going to do my damned best."
