Page 60 of Imbalance
Did we go back to the capital or did we chase after the elusive hybrid rebellion?
When she had made her stance clear, I’d immediately found myself wanting to bow to what she said, which angered me. How had I allowed myself to fall at the feet of a woman I had known for mere days? When my parents had just been killed before my eyes. I should have wanted to go back and avenge their deaths, not follow her around like an abandoned animal.
So, I blamed her, like the pathetic man I had been in that moment. I blamed her for their deaths and for distracting me. When in reality, I’d hated that she had such a strong hold over me and had felt like I needed to break it.
Then, when I’d felt myself softening towards her once more and desiring a deeper relationship, my jealousy had clouded my mind as I saw her forming connections with the others. I had felt left out, and my pride had been wounded as I’d realized we were not even close to the same level. Seeing her casting sweet glances and blushing around the others, when she walked on eggshells around me and only gave me looks of apprehension. It had torn me apart.
Once again, I blamed her for my insecurities and fear. I'd shamed her for having so many mates because I had been scared that I'd be left in the dust.
The tentative peace between us now was only the start of what I wanted, and I knew now that Ama felt something for me, too. I wasn’t sure if it was as strong as what I felt for her, but I had decided I was done playing games. I would tell her exactly how I felt and hope that she could feel the same one day—that she could feel for me even an ounce of what I felt for her.
A hand on my shoulder had me jumping and whirling around, prepared to attack, but when I saw the woman of my inner thoughts in front of me, I relaxed.
She grimaced, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Although you looked like you were quite lost within your thoughts, so really I should have known.”
She was adorable when she rambled awkwardly, and I found myself smirking at her. I didn't second guess myself for once, instead allowing myself to reach for her and pull her down to sit next to me. Placing my arm around her shoulder, I felt her immediately lean in and ask, "Are you okay?"
I chuckled softly, knowing she was confused about my reaction to her and Adrien, and I kissed the top of her head and murmured, "More than okay."
Her head turned so that her pink eyes were searching my face inquisitively.
I couldn't look into her face as I admitted all of this to her. I wasn't that much of a man yet. It was scary as fuck opening up like this, and I needed that security blanket of not seeing her reaction as I did. What if she rebuffed me?
Pulling her head down to rest on my chest, I inhaled deeply before exhaling, "Ama, I've come to a lot of conclusions very quickly. The main one being that I'm falling madly in love with you, and it scares the hell out of me."
She let out a squeak, and I had to hold her firmly to me to prevent her from looking at me. I chuckled and said, "Let me get this all out before you look at me and I pussy out."
She let out a small laugh, instantly covering it, before relaxing back into me, reassuring me that she didn’t hate my words, at least.
"The two times I felt myself opening up and realizing the depth of what I felt for you, my knee-jerk reaction was to pull back and slam that door firmly closed. In the process, I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I wasn't ready to accept it all, and with my parents dying..." I trailed off, "My entire world was turned upside down for a multitude of reasons."
Her right hand reached out to grab my left hand, which was resting on my knee, and she threaded our fingers together. "It's okay."
"No. It's not okay, and I'm done being the boy who was scared of opening up and being vulnerable for the first time. I'm done being the weak person who needed to hurt you in order to try to put a wall up to protect you from truly seeing me."
I squeezed her hand gently, "I'm ready to be the man who gives you everything in me, if you'll have me."
This time, when she pulled out of my embrace and turned to face me, I let her. At the same time, I prepared myself for the rejection that was possibly coming. I had been an asshole countless times since the very first interaction we'd had, and the fact that we were somehow fated to be together didn't excuse that. She could decide that she deserved better, and it would hurt like hell, but I'd respect it.
"Colt, you aren'tthatbad," she scolded, but she had a small smirk on her face.
My own lip curled up in response as I joked, "I know. I'm perfect. I didn't mean any of that. Obviously."
She let out a genuine laugh as she punched my shoulder lightly, "Well, I wouldn't say you're perfect. But I think I'll keep you."
I reached out, unable to help myself, and pulled her to me, arranging her so that she was straddling my lap as she sat. Her face turned serious as we stared into each other's eyes, which really felt like she was peering deep into my soul as she said, "We all make mistakes, Colt. None of us are perfect, but all that matters is that we own up to our mistakes and try to be better. I forgive you."
It was as if one hundred pounds melted off my shoulders at those three little words coming from her. I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear that.
She cocked her head to the side and smiled, "Are you sure it isn't my Succubus powers making you fall for me?"
Cheeky woman, referring to our first meeting. I mused, "Could be. But at this point, it doesn't matter why I'm falling for you, because I'm all in."
Her bottom lip was sucked between her teeth as I said that, and she nibbled on it nervously before she lurched towards me. Her lips found mine, and I held her to me so tightly that I should have been worried if I was hurting her, but I figured she'd definitely tell me if I was. Instead, I let myself melt into the woman who made me realize I wanted to be a better man—for her, and for our entire kingdom.
Our tongues tangled together in a passionate, almost desperate kiss, like we couldn't get enough of each other. As my hands roamed, they found her wings, which I realized popped out whenever she had a strong emotion that broke her glamor. I stroked them absentmindedly as I slowed and deepened the kiss, wanting to feel what they were like. They were so different from my own, which were covered in soft down feathers.
"Hey!" she pulled back, excitement and heat shining in her eyes, "If I show you mine, you have to show me yours."
