Page 62 of Imbalance
"Why are we back to this?" I whispered, feeling a pain so deep slice through me. "Why is it always about splitting me up to you? I'm not something to own, Nico—"
His chuckle was dark as he nipped my neck, pleasure shooting through me as his powers rolled around us, "But that's where you're wrong, Ama. You are exactly that. A possession to be shared by your mates. The only difference is that most of them have decided they are okay with that. Okay with sharing you."
"And you're not?" I clarified, knowing I was sitting on the edge of a cliff that would break my heart.
Nico's gaze flared, "Maybe I'm not. Maybe I want to lock you in a cage and keep you as my toy—one that I don't have to share. Maybe I want to possess every inch of you until all you can think about is how much you want me inside of you. Maybe I want to own you completely, Ama."
"And would I own you also, Nico?" I asked knowingly as his jaw clenched. He wanted to take and take from me, but also never give me what I truly wanted in return from him. To get to know him on a deeper, emotional level.
"My body? Sure. The same as I would own yours."
"And what about the rest of it?" I whispered, knowing this was what needed to be discussed between us.
His body tensed and his eyes narrowed to slits, "There isn't a rest of it."
"Liar," I leveled evenly, feeling a cold calm come over me. "You are lying to yourself, Nico. You are in denial of what's happening here because it scares you. You are going back to blaming everything on physicality because your parents treated it as their central focus in life. More important than their own son. You know as well as I do that what is happening here with the mate bond is nothing like that. So, no matter how many times you say it, just know...I. Do. Not. Believe. You. There is more to you than the facade you portray to the world. I’ve seen glimpses of it."
His nostrils flared as his grip on me tightened. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he hissed, leaning forward and nipping my lip in a frustrated move that actually marked me and caused me to let out a sound of pain. When he kissed me, my injured lip hurt, but it only added to the sensation of tension between us, the taste of blood fueling me due to the sexual powers at play.
In a quick move, I rolled us over, and his hands caught my wrists and tugged them against his chest so I couldn't escape him, my breathing uneven as he examined my expression.
"I do, and you know it," I whispered with a harsh bite to my voice. I wasn’t going to allow him to hide behind a mask anymore.
Pain surged through his gaze, "I'm not giving in to this, Ama. I am not giving in to a bond where I only get part of you, forever."
"Love doesn't work like that. It's not just a sliver of my heart you would be getting, Nico. It's all of it."
"I don't fucking believe that. How could you ever give me all of your heart, when it’s clear you’ve already given it to the others?" he growled.
"You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth. All you have to do is give us a chance to prove to each other that we can provide what the other needs." I felt a tremble work through me at his grip.
"That’s the truth? Then I reject that truth," he bit out.
"Then you reject me,” I answered hollowly, feeling my mind go numb to avoid the pain that was coming.
I felt everything come to a halt between us. I could see that he had come to the same conclusion as me, and I waited with bated breath for him to decide how he would play this. I think I knew he would continue to lie to himself. More so, I think I knew he would lie to me.
"If I can't have all of you..." His words faltered.
"Then you don't want any of me," I finished his sentence, knowing that was what he meant.
His gaze was filled with confusion, and it only made my anger worse, and I leaned down closer to him. This needed to be crystal clear. No confusion or veiled threats. Just the simple truth of the matter.
"Are you rejecting me as your mate?"
I refused to let him avoid this question. Yet, instead of answering, he surged forward and kissed me hard, causing me to let out a pained sound when he wrapped my hair around his fist. I loved the kiss. It was rough and passionate...It also felt like a goodbye. I didn't let it go on for long, feeling hot tears gather in my eyes as I slowly accepted that Nico was, in fact, denying this. Rejecting this between us.
Without pretense, I pushed away from him and stood, leveling him with a look. “Fine," I stated softly. "If you don’t want to answer because you’re too much of a coward, then I guess...I guess we are done." My words faltered, tears started to heat my eyes, and panic infused his gaze. I didn't know if it was because of the tears or the situation. He stood up, clearly trying to figure out what the hell to say.
"We are not done, Amare!” he yelled, his eyes wild with raw intensity, “I just…”
"Clearly, we are," I stepped back, tears tracking down my cheeks as I turned to walk away. When his hand came around my wrist, I turned back fast and knocked him to the ground on instinct, knowing I needed to protect my heart and get away from here.
"Where are you going?" he demanded.
I gave him one last look and squared my shoulders, keeping my head held high, "You made your choice, Nico, now I am making mine."
My wings popped out, and I was up in the air in seconds, soaring away from camp as I heard him roar out my name, the pain lancing through me making me almost turn back. I was crying enough that, when I finally found a place to land outside of camp by the forest, my vision was spotty. I collapsed by a tree and pulled my knees against me as I let out an authentic sob, feeling so damned drained by this entire situation. I really cared about Nico, and despite our issues, I wanted him still. I wanted to work things out and give us a chance, but he didn't want me.
