Page 13 of Inheritance
We walked side by side companionably down the hall, and I opened the door for her to enter ahead of me. She held her blanket around her still, and I noticed a slight tremor go through her. Why was she cold? We were in Hell, after all. It was quite literally always hot here in my territory.
I frowned as I contemplated her words earlier about feeling drained of energy without her magic and feeding. Was her body truly shutting down this suddenly without access to both?
I was such a bastard, taking the very essence of what made her who she was, then expecting her to fall into my arms and accept me as her only mate. Maybe I had been going about this the entirely wrong way, but all semblance of logic flew out the window when I was in her presence. Rage clouded my judgement every time she mentionedthe others.
Remembering how relaxed and playful she had been in the dreams with me made it all the harder when I realized I saw no trace of that woman before me. Instead, I had a cold and distant mate who seemed to want absolutely nothing to do withme, whereas I knew she had taken both physical and emotional steps withthem. Once more, my feelings of inadequacy were coming into play, and they were making me act irrationally. I knew that.
It didn’t stop me from acting out, but a part of me recognized that what I was doing wasn’t right. I just didn’t know whatwasright.
This wasn't what I had envisioned at all for myself in the past as I lay awake, restless and alone in my bed, picturing the fireworks that would explode between my soul mate and I as we met for the first time. Perhaps I was a hopeless romantic who had simply had too long to create an image in my head that would never come to fruition.
Hadn’t I watched romantic relationship after relationship fail as often as they succeeded? I’d known it wouldn’t be easy, but somehow, I’d never expected it to be this complicated.
As the legs of her chair scraped against the stone floor, I was startled from my thoughts. Shaking my head, I stepped into the dining room and closed the door behind me, wanting privacy for the coming conversation with my temptress.
While I considered all of the staff in my castle family, there were still boundaries I needed to keep in place. I couldn't let them all know how utterly broken and lonely I was, or they'd never leave me alone. I cared for them deeply, and I knew they felt similarly, but there was only one person I was willing to bare my soul to.
As I sat and took in my mate, I couldn't help but reach out and grab her trembling hand. "Amare, is this due to not having your magic, like you told me at lunch?"
At the use of her full name, she looked at me like I had grown a few extra heads, but this was a serious matter, and using a pet name right now seemed grossly inappropriate.
How had she lost so much of her vitality in mere hours?
I prepared myself for a signature snarky response from her, but the usual fire was absent from her eyes as she nodded and grabbed a piece of garlic bread, biting into it and chewing slowly. Her gaze fell to her plate as she continued to eat, and I marveled over how timid she seemed now, compared to the wild hellion I knew my mate to be.
She was letting me hold her hand as long as I wanted and wasn't fighting it in the least—or even trying to take advantage of and trick me.
No, she just seemed...empty. This wasn't the woman I had grown to know through dreams, nor the spitfire she had been last night and earlier today. I should have been thrilled at her easy compliance now, but I found myself missing that spark within her.
Was it possible I didn't want a mate who fell into my arms with ease as I had thought? Perhaps the Fates had known what they were doing when they sent me a woman who would challenge me every step of the way.
Letting go of her hand, I sat back in my chair and resigned myself to watching her as she ate, slowly but surely clearing her entire plate of the lasagna and emptying the entire basket of bread. I'd seen the way she’d drooled over it at lunch, so I’d had the chef create a fresh batch, telling the staff they could have the feast that had been prepared for lunch.
Her face was bare of any make up, and her long hair was pulled into a bun that nestled between her horns. Despite her being depleted of energy, I couldn't help but marvel at her natural beauty.
As she finished inhaling the last bite of her food, she perked up with a little bit more energy and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I swear I have some manners, but I was starving."
I didn't bother responding because I was too busy being lost in every aspect of her. Her lips parted slightly as she noticed my intense inspection of her, and I asked, "Are you sure you want to hear of my life?"
She blinked a few times, her eyes darting around, and I warned, "I won't hold back if so, and you might not like everything you hear."
She inhaled deeply and pulled her blanket back around her shoulders, settling back into her chair and nodding decisively, "Yes. I want to know who you are, Luce."
I swallowed the lump that bubbled up in my throat at the thought of exposing myself like this. Opening myself up for her true judgement. My mind rebelled as a defense mechanism, telling me I couldn't afford to be hurt by her and that this was the final wall in place keeping me from immense pain if she rejected me.
Because her previous rejections were just her denying the facade I held firmly in place. That didn't hurt as much as the thought of her truly rejecting me once she knew the real me.
But the truth was, I couldn't afford to hold back from her anymore. It was clear that I had already lost her, and I would do anything to gain even a sliver of her trust. If that meant atoning for my sins with her and telling her how much hatred I'd had for myself over the years because of my own actions, then so be it.
She’d asked to know my life, so I'd give that to her. Perhaps, afterward, she would understand it was my way of proving I was worthy of her love—or at least that I was willing to earn it.
Picking up the heavy silver goblet full of bold red wine, I took a few sips before leaning back in my chair and resting the goblet on my leg.
"Well, I guess I'll start at the very beginning. Raphael, Jeremiel, Raguel, Zerachiel, Remiel and I were all Seraphim. The highest of the spheres of blessed beings, and the highest within the subset of the first sphere...I won't bore you with the inner workings of those idiots," I mused, but she interjected with a burst of energy, curiosity blazing in her eyes, "No, tell me all of it! I want to know."
Groaning at having to dredge through this aspect of my past, I sighed heavily and took another sip of wine before relenting because, for the first time ever, she seemed excited about something I was saying. "Alright, I'll give you a brief history lesson of the high and mighty realm above," I sarcastically quipped, then quickly realized it was my fault for withholding this information from the people within my realm. Of course she'd want to know—to understand all the pieces.
I had wanted to leave the past in that realm and, therefore, had set up my realm to exist without the true knowledge of any other. Reapers knew of the human realm to a degree, and Fallen Angels knew the basic concept of Heaven from those who had truly fallen rather than being born into it, but they were at the bottom of the third sphere of hierarchy, so their information was limited. It was also rare for families to pass on that information, seeing as Fallen reproduction created Fallen Angels in Hell. They birthed children already shunned from the pearly gates, and the hatred for the heavenly realm ran deep in many of their homes, so many shunned their past like I did.
