Page 7 of Inheritance
"It's all just so new," I explained, my eyes widening as I implored him, "Just give me time. I have to catch up to where you are mentally. It's just a lot to take in, but everything I told you is true. I need to have my magic back and feed to survive."
He began to pace back and forth, looking very much like a caged animal ready to destroy anyone who got in his path as he seethed, "No, Ama. You know what I want from you—how much I crave you—and you’re using your body to make it seem that I’ve made headway with you. That you feel anything between us besides lust.” Before I could respond, he suddenly stopped, turned to stare at me, and threw his arms out, "The thing is, my Little Temptress, I don't just want your body. I want all of you!"
He was in my space in an instant, grasping my chin, “Your heart. Your mind. Your body. Your fucking soul.”
The sentiment should have been endearing, but deep down, it was just terrifying. I had no words for him.
Stepping back, he ran his hand across his face roughly in frustration before pinning me with his gaze and asking, "Do you think I went to sleep because I couldn't find a woman to warm my bed? No."
I couldn't let myself explore why the idea of other women warming his bed made my chest clench with jealousy. I’d told him that I'd never accept him—that we would never have what I had with my true mates—and I'd meant that. Hadn't I?
Well, half of it, I definitely had. But the whole not accepting him part...it was like my heart and my mind were at war over what to do with this man in front of me. I could feel the intensity of the passion he felt for me, and it honestly lit every fiber of my being on fire when we were near each other.
But he'd made it clear that it was him or no one, and that just wasn't something I was capable of giving him. So, where did that leave us?
He continued before I had a second to respond, "I promise you that I could have had anyone I chose. What I couldn't find was the other half of my soul—that other being who made my heart swell with so much love it threatened to burst. I saw it in so many people in the realm, and I ached so badly for it..." he trailed off, his voice cracking at the end.
Nibbling my lip, I tried to use the pain of the bite to hold back the tears threatening to spill. I shouldn’t have cared. I shouldn’t have responded to the pure emotion in his voice. But my eyes burned with tears in response to how passionately he’d spoken about love and wanting connection. He sounded like he’d been so alone…and I understood that. I understood that so fucking much.
Could a bad man love the concept of love?
Was he a bad man?
Was he just lonely?
Was he just misunderstood?
Taking a step towards him, I took a shuddering breath and asked, "If you have been wanting this bond between us for so long, then why are you not treating this like the precious gift it is?"
His golden brows slammed together, creating a deep crease in his skin there as he scoffed at my question. "Are you completely delusional? Iamtreating it that way. You're the one who wants to deny this and throw it out like it is meaningless to you!"
I shook my head sadly, knowing I needed to say the words that came to my mind. Not to hurt him this time, but to attempt to get him to understand where I was coming from.
One tear leaked from the corner of my eye as I said, "That's exactly what you're asking me to do with the men who have proven to me they are worthy of this bond between us—or are at least trying to prove it. They have won my heart over."
His chest began to rise and fall rapidly, and his face reddened with anger, but I pushed on, the words flying out of me, "I didn't fall into their arms just because the universe decided they were my fated mates, and I won't do that with you, either. A bond only offers us the opportunity to know who we are compatible to spend our lives with, but that doesn't mean we don't have to put the work into it like any other relationship."
"I'm not like those miscreants! I am the god of this realm!" he roared. I felt his magic crackling through the room around us like an energy field, making my skin pebble with goosebumps.
A soft sigh came from me as my energy began to wane once more. I offered him a resigned look and spoke clearly, knowing he needed to hear it, "You may be a self-proclaimed god, but you aren't worthy of my love." I left him in silence as I went back to my room, hoping he realized that my words weren’t intended to be cruel. It was simply the truth…any man who caged me wasn’t worthy of my love.
CHAPTER FOUR
Nico
“You made your choice, Nico. Now I am making mine.”
Her words still rang in my ears nearly a day later as I drove my fists into the dirt, blood dripping down into the mud below me and rain falling from overhead to soak my clothes. Pain radiated over every inch of my body and face.
Only moments ago, I had picked a fight with a hybrid soldier, and even now, I didn’t regret it. I might have been sitting in the cold afternoon rain, bleeding and feeling like my head was going to explode, but at least Ama’s words were dulled by the hit to the face I had received. It was something. Anything to distract me.
Plus, feeling any form of regret for the fight was currently impossible, since my regret for what I’d said to Ama completely overwhelmed it. I had fucked this up so badly. No. I hadn’t fucked it up...I was fucked up. I was a fuck up, and I was starting to believe that my parents knew it, which was why they’d spent so little time or effort raising me.Why focus on a lost cause, right?It was one of the reasons that Ama’s analysis of me made me both furious and vulnerable.
How dare she strip me bare until my soul was on display for her to see.
How dare she act like she fucking cared—like she could see something in me that—
I pulled myself from those thoughts, feeling the darkness close in as I fell face first into a muddy puddle. I turned my head to the side so I wouldn’t drown, but then I just lay there, not bothering to pick myself back up.
