Page 11 of Oracle
Well…I did only have two weeks left to live, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.
Atta girl.
Looking up, I met Seth’s dark blue eyes and huffed out, “What?” as he grinned at me, seemingly amused by my predicament.
Leaning across the table, he spoke low so only Milo and I could hear. “Kitten, you’ve taken two of us at the same time before. You can juggle four. I have the utmost faith.” My cheeks sparked with the heat of the recollection, doing nothing to help my filthy mind focus on the important items right now.
Was he seriously giving me a pep talk about having sex with my other mates? Goddess, Seth was something else, and I loved him for it. He was accepting through and through, no judgment ever lingering in his eyes.
But Goddess…four was a lot more daunting than what I had done with the two of them. Where would they all go? My mind whirled with about one hundred various positions, each making me squirm with a combination of lust, excitement, and fear.
Could I comfortably…accommodate them?
Milo nipped at my ear playfully, surprising the hell out of me as he mumbled, “And quite good at it, if my memory serves. Maybe I need a refresher, though, baby.”
This was a complete one-eighty personality switch for Milo, and damn was it not aiding in me cooling the fuck down mentally or physically. He must have worked out a lot of his issues while I had been in my comatose state this past week. It sure opened up a lot more possibilities for group fun. The exact thing I shouldn’t be focused on.
Jumping up from the table quickly, I saw all eyes turn to me and awkwardly waved, smiling sheepishly, “I’ll uh…be right back. Bathroom.”
Internally, I rolled my eyes at myself for how awkward I was being.
“Let me know if you need help, beauty!” Caleb called at my retreating back, making the others chuckle as I scurried off to calm my racing heart.
I heard Tian ask what I could possibly need help with in the restroom just before I exited the room. He was so pure in comparison to those scoundrels around us.Sweet, love.
Two weeks would never be sufficient. I wanted eternity with my pack of mates.
I was acting so weird, and I knew it. I was hot and cold and everything in-between in the span of minutes with my mates. I hadn’t quite pinpointed yet how to not freak out at the thought of having just two weeks left with them. It hit me at the most random times in a swift punch to the gut.
How was I supposed to be calm and collected and lead the packs of the world in this war with my mind spinning like I was stuck on a wheel I couldn’t get off of? It continued to turn and throw me around.
When I had been with Selene, I had told myself I wouldn’t hold myself back. That I would make the most of every moment and create incredible memories. Easy enough to say then, but not quite so easy to accomplish now. How was I supposed to shake the unbearable sadness of having to leave them?
It hurt. It felt like a jagged shard of glass had been inserted into my heart, and every time they said something kind or looked at me with love in their eyes—hell, even every time they each laughed—the shard rotated, shredding everything around it one more layer, until eventually I’d have nothing left.
How had I just gone from confused, to turned on, to emotionally wrecked so quickly? I was giving myself emotional whiplash.
I love you, Kira, but you’ve got to pull yourself together.
Walking into the tunnel system, I moved far enough away that I couldn’t hear my mates any longer. I immediately put my back to the wall and closed my eyes, sliding to the ground to rest my head in my hands atop of my scrunched-up knees.
I had told Lux what had transpired with Selene while the guys had filled me in on what I’d missed over the past week while we ate, so she was clued in now on my mountain of issues.
Fuck, I know, Lux. But I can’t get a grip on what I’m supposed to be focused on. I don’t know how to lead them to victory while simultaneously wanting to ride their cocks. How am I supposed to juggle everything on top of the impending doom of literally being ripped away from everyone and everything in two weeks?
Breathe. I need you to take a deep breath in, and let it out slowly.
Doing as she asked, I lifted my head and locked my eyes on the stone wall in front of me, anchoring myself in this moment. Inhaling deeply until I felt like my chest would burst, I held my breath for just a moment before exhaling slowly with the intention of letting the tension leak out of me along with my air.
That was my intention, but it damn sure didn’t happen. Quite the opposite happened.
I growled as hot tears pooled in my eyes, my body trembling without my consent as I felt the dam of my emotions overfilling.
How am I supposed to carry on like my world isn’t falling apart? Like my life isn’t being ripped away from me just as I’m given such abundant love and happiness?
Kira, I…
How am I supposed to be okay with being ripped away from you? I couldn’t feel you when I was with Selene. Our connection was severed, Lux.
