Page 12 of Oracle
It isn’t fair. None of this is fucking fair, Kira. If I could take it all away from you and onto only myself, I would in a heartbeat…but I can’t.
I banged my head against the wall softly, frustrated.I wouldn’t want you to, Lux.
I’ve lived my life, Kira. You deserve to live yours. But seeing as we are both stuck in this position, we will stand the fuck up, put on a brave face, and handle shit. Because that is truly the only option here.
The scuffling of feet in the hallway made me jump up quickly and rub my eyes, brushing the stray tears away hastily. I wasn’t quick enough to hide the results of my brief crying before a familiar voice called out, “Kira?”
Fucking hell.Here was another situation I wasn’t sure how to tackle.
“Jameson,” I said back a bit curtly, unsure of how to interact with him, my fingers awkwardly fumbling and twisting together in front of me.
We had agreed to start fresh, but it was impossible to forget the past. We had agreed to try to be friends and see where it went, but how could I be just friends with someone I had so much history with, both good and bad. I also knew how damned good his cock felt inside of me, and I couldn’t lie...I wouldn’t be opposed to feeling that ecstasy again.
The last time we had been around each other before I was stabbed had been a heated intimate moment in the healing pools. It had definitely crossed the line from being friends into an unknown territory with about a thousand lingering questions between us.
He was so damned beautiful, my breath caught as his icy eyes scanned over my body with concern. He took two steps towards me, reaching his hand out before faltering midair and pulling it back down, thinking better of it, like he wasn’t allowed to touch me or shouldn’t.
In that second, I realized I wanted him to reach out. I wanted him to hold me and reassure me.
I didn’t want to hold him at arm's length right now—and what would be the fucking point when I only had two weeks left? What was the point in holding off or trying to take it slow as friends and work through our issues?
The vein in the middle of his forehead throbbed as his hands clenched at his sides tightly. He gritted through clenched teeth, “Why are you crying, Kira? Tell me before I go ballistic on whoever crosses my path next.”
The harsh bite to his words made me suck in a sharp breath. He was ready to rampage without knowing the details.
Letting go of all of the issues lingering between us, I launched myself at him, shock flitting across his face for the seconds it took for me to crash into him. His strong arms wrapped around me, holding me to him tightly as he rested a hand on the back of my head and my lower back.
It felt right to be in his embrace, despite everything. I couldn’t deny that. Deep down I knew he was still that boy I became best friends with.
I sniffled loudly, still trying to hold back the tears that pricked at my eyes. I hated crying, but I felt so fucking overwhelmed by the weight of the world and my impending fate. It was debilitating to keep it all festering inside my mind and heart.
Focusing on the sharp pine scent that emanated from his body, I breathed it in and used it like an anchor to steady myself, shocked at the strength I felt myself pulling from him as he held me. Something I never thought I would find in the man who had caused me so much heartache.
His hand stroked through my long, tangled locks as he said words that stunned me to my core. They proved he knew me through and through, despite the chasm that had grown between us for so many years.
“Sometimes you need to admit that you can’t do everything alone, Kira.”
CHAPTERFIVE
KIRA
My sharp intake of breath didn’t go unnoticed by Jameson, who only further tightened his hold on me. “I know that is a concept that scares the shit out of you. You’ve had to fend for yourself practically your whole life. You were the only one who had your back all those years in the pack.”
He trailed off for a moment, still stroking my hair, “Well, perhaps you had Milo for a little bit. But you held him at arm's length. I watched you do it. You kept yourself isolated, likely from fear of being abandoned by him as well, if you let him in. Just like I did to you after you accepted me into your heart when we were young.”
Nail, meet head. Right on the mark.
Goddess, when I’d jumped into his arms, I hadn’t expected a psych eval or to be stripped bare in front of him mentally. But that’s exactly what it felt like. He was showing how well he truly did know me, right down to my logic and reasonings for it all.
“I might have been jaded by Jace’s influence on me as a child, but I own up to my part in making your life that way. I accept the consequences of my actions.”
Hearing him take ownership and not make excuses for everything he’d done to me was as if I could feel each small shredded piece of my heart that he’d ripped apart weaving itself together in a healing manner.
It didn’t make the past disappear, and I had to accept that I could never forget it, but I could forgive. I could acknowledge someone’s misgivings while also accepting that it was possible for people to truly change. I just wished he had changed sooner so we could have had more time together, instead of having that toxic push and pull that had existed for so long.
Do you think you should tell them what’s going on? It would ease your mental burden.
I stiffened at Lux’s words, making Jameson think he had done something wrong and move to pull away from me. Wrapping my arms around him, I yanked him back and rested my head against his chest once more.
