Page 29 of Once Upon A Christmas Kiss
I need to see that he loves me, that he’s being real.
Oh my god, he looks so gorgeous dressed in black. I love it when he wears sweaters. He’s wearing a black sweater, shirt, and dark gray wool slacks.
Yum!
I love this amazing man.
“What are you waiting for? Talk,” I say in a low voice, lowering my eyelids halfway.
“Baby Girl, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m not blaming Jacob, but he made some valid points that night when he stopped me from coming to you.
That night, at the meeting that I attended, it was the initiation ceremony, my induction into the Mafiosi. I took the step that tied me to the fucking Mafia. I pledged the Omerta Oath; I’m a Made Man, a Soldati for the Boss Cappola Crime Family. My brother Cristiano, he's my Capo; he also mentioned that night that I needed to decide if I wanted to put you in danger since I’m a soldier for the Mafia.
Do you know what that means? I’m a fucking killer, the fucking assassin. The Mafia is no joke, and you know that, Antonella.
The fear and doubts started to grow as Jacob demanded that I stop seeing you.
I started to think about how you could love someone like me. The doubts started eating up my soul, and I started to feel the darkness, the monster that I am. But what is the most important fact, I know that I’m putting you at risk of some fucker hurting you?
That’s why I disappeared out of your life without a word.
I’m not worthy of you, I wanted to stay away from you, but I can’t live without you. This last year has been hell, and it was hell on so many levels.
I need you.
I love you; you’re my light that keeps my soul from living in the dark. You’re my life, my everything.
Antonella, please marry me,” Nicola asks, cupping my face in his massive hands gazing into my eyes.
My eyes tear up, my lips turn up into a huge smile, nodding.
“Yes, yes,” I whisper, crying.
“Antonella, I love you,” Nicola groans, kissing my tears away.
“I love you, but I need to tell you something important,” I say, gazing into his heated eyes.
“What is it,” Nicola asks, kissing my lips softly.
“Nicola, last year on Christmas Eve, I had a special gift for you,” I say, tearing up again.
The tears rolled down my cheeks; my chest constricts, making it difficult to breathe. I gasp, inhaling, trying to talk.
Nicola rubs his thumbs over my cheeks to wipe the tears away.
“Baby Girl, that’s not important; all I want from you is your Christmas Kiss, your love, your soul. I want you in my life forever,” Nicola says, smiling at me.
“I love you, Nicola, with all of my heart, but I need to tell you that I had your baby; that’s what I was going to tell you that Christmas Eve. The baby is a little girl; she’s five months,” I say, biting my lip looking at him.
I blink my eyelids to clear the tears from my eyes, holding my breath.
I’m so afraid of his response; what if he doesn’t believe me.
What if he thinks it’s not his baby?
Oh my God, these thoughts are crazy, stupid. Of fuckingcourse he wants me; he wants our baby girl.
“What? Are you serious? I fucked up! I can’t fucking believe that I left you when you needed me. I’m so sorry,” Nicola roars, releasing me paces around the room, sliding his fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes, his fingers curl into a tight fist, and I can see that he wants to hit something.
