Page 89 of Exiles on Earth
“Will you walk me to my rooms?” I ask. Selfish, so selfish. But I just want this moment to last as long as possible. “You can go straight back to the Games afterward.”
He nods, silent.
I gesture to the warm summer storm, the gray boiling clouds poised low above us. “So, uh, does it often rain here?”
“Rarely. This storm is likely caused by the climatologists, and only over the jungle, to strengthen it for the trial tomorrow.” His jaw ticks, as if he’d rather be concentrating on getting ready for that, than hanging out with me.
My shoulders lower, heavy with realization as water drenches my robes and hair, weighing me down. I have to stop reading into things and just leave the planet already.
I don’t want to. I don’t want to leave without him. When I’m with him, everything seems easier. Manageable.
But I can’t be selfish. He told me what he wanted.
I spin around, expecting to have to attract his attention, but he’s already fixed on me.
“They treat you like animals,” I blurt. “Worse. I’d never treat my animals the way you expect to live.”
He doesn’t flinch, but something flickers in his eyes.
“You can choose, Ilia. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you can.” My breath hitches. “If this is what you want, more power to you, but I want to make sure this whole being mated thing is shaping up to how you imagined it to be.”
His gaze darkens. “If you mean dedicating myself to one female, I’m more than ready. I’ll work hard every day to support her dreams and see her to greatness.”
Ilia’s words spike into the cracks of my chest, and I swallow to control the sobs threatening to leap out of my throat. Some alien female will be a really, really lucky girl. It must be nice tohave someone to spend your life with, to share your dreams with. No wonder Ilia wants a mate so badly.
Keeping my voice even, I say, “It seems like you give away a lot of control. Is that… also what you want?”
“I’ve never had control of anything in my life, El-len.” His brows knit, rain trickling down his jaw. “That’s not true. I was in command on any mission away from Oloria.”
“Right. When you’re… when you were on Earth, you could choose what you did. Well, to a certain degree, so the authorities wouldn’t catch on.” My heart pounds under my translucent dress. I can’t ask him to come to Earth, he’d have to hide forever. That isn’t fair to him. I should just give it up, it won’t work between us.
He steps closer to me, his bulk shielding me from the storm. Eyes ablaze, he says, “I would dearly like to choose.”
I hold my breath. Say it, Ilia. Say me. Say us. Say anything. His scent of steady oak warms, filling my lungs along with the heavy fragrance of the flowers surrounding us, spicy bergamot and soft rose in addition to sharp mint. Rainwater trickles over my lips, as pure as the spring on my land.
A longing for home washes across me like the rain running down my body. The ache is almost unbearable, and I shiver, suddenly feeling the alien weight of this planet pressing down on me. I’ve never felt so alone.
“Maybe we should go inside,” I say, turning to where I think the seating area was. I could find my way back to Shara’s apartment from there.
Ilia stays where he is. “If you wish, El-len. Are you… are you well?”
“Yeah, I…” I take another step onto the wide asphalt, or what I think is wide asphalt. As my foot disappears, I remember: bloody great big pond.
I plunge into the water, cold and deep. Panic claws at mychest as I fully submerge, the ice stealing my breath. My hands flail for purchase, finding nothing but liquid emptiness.
Then strong arms wrap around me. Ilia. He cuts through the water, his warmth radiating into me as he kicks upward. For a heartbeat, we’re weightless, suspended in a private, silent world of rising bubbles and refracted light. I’m not alone.
We break the surface together. I gasp, coughing, and he holds me tight as if he’ll never let go. “El-len, can you breathe?”
“I’m fine,” I manage, my voice shaking. “I just… forgot about the pond.”
In the water, we’re equal. Eye to eye. My fingers tremble against his skin, tracing the ridges of muscle, the rise and fall of breath. My pulse pounds as his gaze burns through me, steady, searching. His worried frown softens, his hands trailing from my waist to my hips, lingering before dipping lower. A shiver races through me as he brushes the curve of my ass, his touch reverent, hesitant.
But I wish I knew if his protectiveness was truly his—or just the instincts drilled into him.
And more than that, I wish I could silence the part of me that desperately wants him for myself. It’s not what he said he wanted.
My heartbeat pounds against my ribs, the soaked fabric clinging to my skin. He stills, watching me, his breathing shallow. The tension between us tightens as my nipples graze his chest, drawing a low, guttural moan from him that sends heat curling through my core.
