Page 23 of House of Blood and Roses: Vol. 2
"If he's told you as much, then I suspect so, though I'll admit to not having talked to him about it. We mostly stick to matters that concern my work," Thomas responds.
"That makes sense." And it also reassures me, I don't particularly want Lord Fallmartin to be discussing my life with everyone. "Do you enjoy it? What you do with your time?"
"Oh yes. I've always liked it. Before I knew I was a vampire, I worked with my uncle on his farm, and I was always asking questions about the running of it. I wanted to know more, and do more. Even then, I think I knew that's what I wanted to do. When I became a vampire, and then the heir to House Vermouten, it all became clear to me that this was my purpose."
"That must be nice."
"It's better than questioning my place in life constantly," he agrees.
"Mmm." Is that what I'm doing? I'm about to marry Linc and become a princess, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with that and what my place in life is supposed to be.
Bastian has his place as Lord Fallmartin's heir, Thomas is his business manager, and from what he and Bella have previously said, she seems to help him with that. But I'm just going to be the wife of the spare heir. I have no purpose. Not now, and not after I get married.
Which means I need to find it, because as much as I care for Linc, I can't just be someone's wife.
ELEVEN
I make my way up to the library with Pip bouncing along beside me. I don't bring her with me most of the time, but sometimes it's nice to have her company. I head straight for the private room, smiling as I pass the table where Linc and I first spent time together. Even then, it felt like a secret space that belonged to only us, but it was nothing compared to how it feels to have a private room to ourselves.
I push open the door, not bothering to knock because he knows I'm coming. Pip races inside, sniffing around before heading straight to Linc. He fusses her, a happy expression on his face as well as on hers.
"Can I ask you a strange question?" I ask Linc before I've even sat down.
"Of course."
"What do you do with your time?" It's not as eloquent as I want it to be, but it's the question I ultimately want to ask, so it will do.
Linc considers for a moment, not stopping his fuss of Pip. "Before you got here, I mostly just read and drank," he responds. "Now, I guess I mostly read, try to resist drinking, and spend time with you."
"Is that enough?" I ask, sitting down on the chair beside him and trying not to let this overtake my mind.
He raises an eyebrow. "Is what enough?"
"I don't know. Is that enough purpose in life? You're a prince, you have power that most people can only dream of. Is it enough that you're just reading, not drinking, and spending time with me?"
"In the long run, no. But I'm still new at this, so are you. What's brought this on?"
I sigh and rub a hand over my face. "I don't really know. Or I do know, it's just complicated."
"Try me, Bea." He scratches under Pip's chin and she pushes her head into his hand for more of them.
"Well, it's just that I was talking to Thomas, Bella's husband. Erm, Lord Vermouten. Sorry, all the titles get too much for me sometimes."
"I know who you mean," he assures me.
"Well I was talking to him and he was saying how much he enjoys running his estate, and the one for Lord Fallmartin..."
"Ah, so that's how he married so high," Linc says. "I've wondered about that for a while."
"It's complicated," I say. "But yes, he works for Lord Fallmartin managing the House Rothorne lands, or something like that. I won't pretend to fully understand it."
He nods. "Go on."
"And then there's Bastian, who is learning to be the new head of House Rothorne. I know the idea is that he won't take over from Lord Fallmartin for a long time to come, but he's preparing for it."
"Mmm, that makes sense when he's your father's heir," he agrees. "Much like Marcus is doing to prepare to rule after our father."
"Well, what am I doing? What am I preparing for? I know I've said I don't want to be any kind of pawn for people, but what have I done beyond that? I know I'm pleased with the way our betrothal turned out, but I'm ultimately doing exactly what Lord Fallmartin wants me to do by marrying you."
