Page 20 of The Uncompromising Marquess
“I – ” Lady Florence closed her eyes, squeezing them tight. “I – I thank you.” Her eyes opened, but she turned away from him, even though the waltz was not yet finished. Joseph reached for her, stepping forward to catch her arm, but she was gone, hurrying through the crowd of dancing couples and, as he watched, knocking into one or two. Her feet were stumbling, her hands outstretched, a vision of fear and confusion as she rushed away from him.
And all Joseph felt was keen disappointment and a slow-growing sense of regret.
10
“Whatever were you doing, Florence?”
Shutting her eyes, Florence relived the moment she had run from Lord Applegate. It had been two days ago now, but she had not been able to forget it for even a second. “Please, Helena, can I not discuss the matter? I have already had my mother deeply irritated with me for what I did… or did not do.”
“I only want to understand,” Helena replied, as Florence opened her eyes and then reached for the tea Helena had only just poured. “I am not here to berate you or anything, I assure you.”
Florence, who had endured her mother’s anger and upset for hours on end, managed to smile. “I thank you, Helena. My mother does not understand. She is deeply angry with me that I ran from Lord Applegate and caused some upset with the others who were waltzing, but also she is disappointed that Lord Sutherland has been pushed away from me.”
“Lord Sutherland?”
With a sigh, Florence answered quickly. “My mother and father seem to think that Lord Sutherland, a friend of myfather’s, would be a suitable match.” Seeing her cousin’s eyes widen, Florence gave her a small nod. “It is just as you imagine.”
Helena clicked her tongue. “Ridiculous. Why ever should they seek to marry you to someone who is as old as your father?”
“Because they despair of me finding someone on my own?”
This made her cousin frown.
“I do not think I could express the deep relief I felt when Lord Applegate stepped in. He had no need to do so, but he did it nonetheless, having overheard the conversation between my mother and Lord Sutherland.”
Helena tilted her head. “Did he now?”
“He did.” Florence looked into the flames of the fire in front of her and let herself smile gently. “I did not initially understand his purposes in doing so, but he explained it to me. I believe he did something good so that his guilt might be a little resolved.”
Her cousin’s eyebrows lifted. “Guilt? Over his lies to your mother?”
Florence nodded. “Yes, precisely.”
“That seems to make him a little self-serving, if I am not mistaken.”
Having already considered this, Florence looked down at her teacup. “I suppose it was a little. But he said more to me, Helena. He understood me in a way that so many others do not, and it was with that in my mind that we went to dance together.”
“And then you ran from him?” Helena spoke very quietly, encouraging Florence to be open with her by the gentleness of the spirit in which she asked the question. “Despite thinking well of him?”
Florence set her tea cup down, the sensations within her shaming her, just as they had done on the night of the ball. “It was not because of anything he had done or said,” she rasped, feeling her throat closing up. “It was because of what Ifelt.”
At this, Helena’s eyebrow shot upwards, but she said nothing. Covering her face with her hands, Florence fought to regain her composure, not letting tears fall. “Helena, I have been so very foolish… and I caused such upset when I ran from him!” She dared not lift her hands from her face for fear of losing her composure completely. “He kissed me under the mistletoe bough and I have never experienced such a thing before!”
“Ah, I quite understand.”
Hearing the compassion in Helena’s voice, Florence dropped her hands and gazed back at her cousin. “You do?”
“Of course I do.” Helena smiled warmly. “You are – or you were – drawn to Lord Applegate. It might only have been for those few minutes when he sought to understand you, when he expressed such things as to make your heart fill with gladness because of it, but that feeling was there nonetheless.”
Florence swallowed thickly. “I do notwantto have such feelings!”
A quiet chuckle escaped from Helena’s lips. “My dear cousin, you cannot prevent them, I am afraid. No matter what it is you might wish to feel, they will stay if they choose to. At times, they might disappear without any great upset, and mayhap in this case, they will do so. But do not underestimate what a first kiss can do to oneself! It is an exhilarating, confusing, and wonderful experience, and I can quite understand why you felt the need to step back from him.” She leaned forward just a little. “It must have beenveryoverwhelming.”
“I felt engulfed by my own feelings,” Florence admitted, relief beginning to press into her heart now that Helena seemed to understand precisely what she was talking about. “It was so very confusing, I could not bring myself to step back into his arms. And instead, I caused a great deal of upset, stumbled into more than a few other dancers, and left Lord Applegate alone on the dance floor!” Shame rose up like a ferocious beast, threateningto devour her, but Florence resisted it as best she could. “I do not know what he will think of me now, but I cannot bring myself to see him again.” Her eyes closed again. “But mother informed me this morning that we have been invited to his Christmas ball at the end of next week, and thus, I shall have no choice but to be in his company again!”
This made Helena grin. “My dear Florence, I am afraid that I do not think that as dreadful a thing as you do.”
“But it is, ofcourseit is! I am already mortified by what I did, and now I shall have to see him again. I can do my best to stay away from him, of course but – ”
