Page 26 of The Uncompromising Marquess
“Florence? Whatever is the matter?”
Florence shook her head, reaching for Helena’s arm. “Walk with me.”
Her cousin nodded and did precisely as Florence had asked, walking quickly away from the door of the ballroom and continuing through the crowd of guests. She stayed near the side of the room, for which Florence was grateful, relieved that the shadows would hide her just a little. Slowly, she began to calm herself, her breathing steadying and her heart slowing.
“Are you quite all right?”
Shaking her head no, Florence sank into a chair with Helena coming to sit beside her. Her cousin was looking back at her withwide eyes, but she said nothing more, giving Florence space to consider and to then respond.
“I was anxious enough about coming to the ball this evening,” she managed to say, closing her eyes to hide her cousin’s expression when she said the next part. “My father spoke of Lord Applegate in the carriage, suggesting to my mother that he might be a gentleman worth considering. I do not believe that to be true, though I find myself quite furious with my own ongoing feelings, which I shall not deny.” She took in a shaking breath but forced herself to continue, still keeping her eyes shut. “My mother laughed at the notion. Thereafter, as we were waiting in line to greet the Marquess – and I as nervous as could be – she pressed her fingers hard into my side, telling me to stand up straight… and I shrieked much too loudly.”
“Oh, Florence.” Helena’s voice was filled with sympathy. “That is not your fault.”
Florence finally opened her eyes, looking into her cousin’s face and seeing nothing but compassion there. “Yes, it was. I should have been able to stay composed.”
“You are being much too hard on yourself! That was not your fault in the least!”
With a shake of her head, Florence rubbed two fingers between her eyebrows, sensing tension there. “Whilst I did greet Lord Applegate, I left before it was appropriate. I had heard someone laughing behind me, and I could not bear to stay in his company, Helena. I am already ashamed enough!”
Helena let out a small sigh, then, leaning forward in her chair, pinned Florence with a steady gaze. “Florence, let me speak plainly. You have altered so greatly these last few weeks; I have been very proud of you indeed. I should have said something before now, I think, but surely you must see just how much more confident you are in society? It is not to say that you have the same self-assurance as your sisters, but I do not thinkthat such a thing is an excellent trait, truth be told.” She smiled, and tears began to burn in Florence’s eyes. “You may still be a little anxious, yes, but I think that now comes from what you feel for Lord Applegate, instead of a general worry about what will or will not happen. Is that not a good thing? Can you not see why I might be so very pleased about that… and why you should be also?”
For a long moment, Florence simply looked at her cousin. This was not something she had considered. It had been much easier to think only of her failings, especially given the fact that her mother continually reminded her of them. Perhaps Helena was right. Perhaps she should be thinking a little more about how much she had improved.
“You have not thought of your improvements, have you?” Helena smiled gently. “Why do you not, for this evening only, think well of yourself instead of worrying about what might happen? Instead of fearing how you might fail, consider just how well you have done these last few occasions. You should be holding your head up high, Florence. Your confidence and poise have certainly improved and yes, you may still feel yourself a little anxious because of the Marquess, but that will settle in time.”
“Settle?” Florence bit her lip and looked away. “I am not certain I want it to settle.”
Helena's eyebrows lifted as Florence Caught her gaze.
“I will not pretend that what I feel for Lord Applegate has not been a little confusing, but it is not a feeling I despise.” Trying to make sense of all that was in her, Florence shook her head. “I am quite sure that the Marquess does not think of me in the same way I think of him, but I would rather have had these feelings than never have experienced them. I will admit that there is certainly pain in the realization that he will not feel what I do, but to have gone through life without ever falling in love with agentleman would, I think, have been a little disappointing… even if I never once thought such a thing of any importance!”
“That is certainly a very honest thing to admit,” Helena told her, with a small smile. “Though I must question you when you say that the Marquess does not think of you as you think of him. How can you be sure?”
Recalling what she had overheard Lord Applegate say after she had played the pianoforte for him, Florence heart twisted again. “I heard it from his lips, Helena. He thinks only of me as an acquaintance, perhaps as a friend, but I shall be contented with that.” A sad smile touched her lips. “I thought very poorly of him indeed, and whilst thetonthink of him as having exceptionally high standards and a critical spirit, I must say that I have not found him to be so. Yes, he has been a little judgmental now and again, but he has been wonderfully kind to me and has saved me from two unfortunate situations. I can only think well of him.”
Reaching out, Helena settled her hand on Florence's knee. “Do not give up on it all, Florence. It may be that he simply chose not to speak openly to whomever he was talking with. There may be hope yet.”
“And now, the cake!”
Florence’s eyes grew wide as she watched an enormous cake being carefully brought in by the servants. The entire ballroom had fallen silent as the Marquess of Applegate had drawn their attention to the cake, which was almost majestic, given just how wonderful it was.
“This cake has a secret.” Lord Applegate beamed with such joy on his face that Florence was a little astonished. It was clearthat he was enjoying himself, and she had never before seen him in such a state. Her toes curled in her slippers, finally admitting to herself that she did think him very handsome indeed this evening. His eyes were shining with the joy of the evening, and as she watched, his gaze fell upon her.
Quickly, she looked away, feeling the warmth begin to spread up through her frame. How could it be that even a single look had her heart fluttering?
“This cake contains a secret,” Lord Applegate said again, his voice booming around the room. “Within it, there is a single bean. If you find it, then you will be crowned king or queen for the evening.” With a snap of his fingers, he directed his gaze towards one of his servants, who quickly produced a crown sitting upon a purple cushion. Immediately, murmurs began to spin around the room, and Florence smiled, feeling a twinge of excitement within herself. It was a funny little game, but one that she was sure would take hold of all the guests here this evening. She certainly would not take part, for whilst she thought it an excellent entertainment, she had no desire to be the center of attention.
“There you are.”
A hard voice made Florence wince, her smile instantly fading. “I was walking with Helena, Mother.”
“No, you were running away. That ridiculous noise you made when I told you to stand up straight was nothing short of an embarrassment. You certainly did not have to respond so. Did you not see the other guests looking at you?”
Florence turned sharply, a streak of anger rushing up towards her heart. “It was not because of your words that I responded so. It was because you stuck your finger in my side!”
Her mother snorted and rolled her eyes. “A likely excuse. It was a gentle nudge only.”
Her anger lingered, but shame threatened to nudge itself over it. It was a familiar feeling, and Florence fought hard to deny it. Her mother had always been able to bring about the very worst sensations within her, and even now, she was attempting to do the very same thing by blaming Florence for something she herself had done.
