Page 90 of Duke
Or would it be a nightmare? I imagine caring for two newborns at the same time isn’t for the faint of heart.
None of this experience is.
“I don’t know what to say.” My voice is thick. “Y’all—your family—really, this is all too much—”
“Wheeler, this is just what we do.” Ryder walks over and wraps me in a hug. “Welcome. We hope you’ll stay a while.” Then he glances over his shoulder at his brother and walks out of the room, calling, “See y’all at dinner!”
“Sorry about him,” I hear Duke say. “I think he misunderstands—well, he wants…he thinks I’m lonely or maybe just lost, and…”
My lips twitch. “I like how we both apologize for our big-mouthed brothers.”
“I swear, I’m not trying to push you one way or the other. To keep the baby, to not.” His eyes bore into mine. “Ryder laid it on thick, but I won’t. I respect your, um, autonomy. That’s not quite the right word, but…”
“Are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Lonely.” I have a sudden, urgent need to know.
Duke tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I think maybe I’ve been lonely too.
“I’m glad I had an excuse to get the guest room together,” he continues. “Kinda depressing having empty rooms in your house.”
I swallow, taking in the room with its mismatched furniture and cute little curtains. “It’s perfect.” I swallow again. And again. “Sometimes I wonder—I know we’re doing the right thing, chasing our dreams. I’m just not sure that it’s enough. Like, maybe the dream is incomplete, you know? Because my careeris taking off, and that feels really, really great, don’t get me wrong. But there’s a loneliness that comes with being so focused on one thing.” My eyes burn. I blink and look at the floor. “I keep coming back to your idea that there’s gotta be more to the day than just being productive. Like, what are we waiting for, an invitation from God or whoever to finallyenjoylife? To enjoy each other’s company rather than sit in front of our laptops all damn day?”
Duke’s voice is different when he replies, “I feel that. Just swap out the laptop part for a horse.”
I laugh, meeting his eyes. “Sorry. Getting way off topic here—”
“I love it when you get off topic. Picking your brain is fun. And enlightening.”
I have to look away again. “I’d say I like picking yours too, but it’s always in the gutter, so…”
“So?” His voice is teasing now.
A familiar lick of heat moves through my skin. I don’t know how I can be horribly sick one minute and turned on the next, but that’s pregnancy for you.
“So we’re on for dinner, I guess.”
One side of his mouth kicks up. “Sounds good.”
“Thank you. For asking Patsy to make pasta. And for this.” I motion to the room. “I’m feeling the love.”
Duke taps the doorframe on his way out. “That’s the point, Blue. Take your time unpacking. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
God, he’s good.
So good that I wanna be good to him too. Yes, life is an absolute disaster right now. Yes, we have a monumental decision to make after a series of horrible mistakes. But somehow, throughout it all, Duke has made me feel so much less lost and lonely than I did before that fateful trip to Aspen.
I feel like I’m starting to get a sense of clarity about life because of him. Or maybe it’s the pregnancy, I don’t know. Either way, I wanna show him the love.
I also wanna run. But I’m trying my damnedest to ignore that feeling—that sense of fear—and lean into being good to Duke the way he’s been good to me.
Closing the door, I grab my phone and shoot Mollie a text.
WHEELER: We should seriously think about doing a men’s collection now that we have momentum. Came up with some cool ideas I’ll share.
