Page 55 of Duke
I adjust my hand on the wheel. “That really sucks.”
“I mean, my mom divorcing my dad has been a long time coming.” She stares out the windshield. “Part of me is relieved they’re finally going through with it. When I was little, I remember them being happy enough. But as I got older, they started to fight more. A lot more. By the time I was in high school, it was obvious they were miserable together, and their relationship has only deteriorated since then. So I’m happy they’re, you know, trying to find happiness again.”
A beat of silence. I don’t know what to say. She doesn’t seem to want comfort, at least not that I can tell. Maybe she just needs a sympathetic ear.
“Seems like a step in the right direction,” I say carefully. “Can I ask what happened?”
Wheeler nods, dropping the empty can into her cupholder. “I think they ultimately didn’t work because they got married for the wrong reasons. They had a shotgun wedding situation, although everyone pretended like it wasn’t because my dad comes from money, and they were able to throw this big, ridiculous wedding to cover it up. Long story short, Mom got pregnant with my older brother, so my dad married her. I think they both wanted kids, so it made sense at the time.”
“Right. Guess there are worse reasons to get married.”
“But there are definitely better ones. They weren’t always miserable together, but I’m not sure they were ever super happy either.”
I nod. “I absolutely agree. I don’t think the point of marriage—or life, really—is to have kids.”
“Yeah?” She finally looks at me. “What do you think the point is, then? I’m genuinely curious, because I’m trying to find that out myself.”
Lifting a shoulder, I put on my blinker. “Experiencing the world. Traveling. Figuring out who you are. Lending a helping hand when you can.”
“I like those ideas. A lot.” She looks down at her lap. “Anyway, the divorce was a bomb I was expecting—”
“But it’s still a bomb.”
“Exactly. I can function okay. Like, work is the thing that’s keeping me sane right now. But I’m, like, actually not okay?” Her voice gets high, and I know she’s about to cry. “It’s hard watching the life you’ve known explode around you.”
How do I know you so well after a single weekend?
How’d we go from fucking in the front seat to talking about serious shit?
There’s a vulnerability to Wheeler, a willingness to be real, that has me spinning out. It’s so rare to be able to talk about real shit with someone this way. Makes me feel alive.
It’s devastating to think this might be the last real conversation I have with this girl.
“I think it’d be weird if youwereokay.” I change lanes, then turn my head to look at Wheeler. “Wish you’d said something, Blue. We can’t be there for you if you’re not telling us what’s going on.”
“We?”
“Me. My brothers. Everyone you live and work with on the ranch.”
Her face crumples, and so does my heart.
“You’re sweet.” She wipes away her tears with the flat of her hand. “But we’re not that close—”
“Blue, I just spent the weekend inside you. We’re close, whether you like it or not.”
That makes her laugh. “People aren’t like that where I’m from. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends back home, but they…yeah, don’t care the way y’all do.”
“So let us take care of you. Let me take care of you.”
She shakes her head, holding her hand to her face. “I need to focus on…other things right now. I’m a mess, Duke. You don’t want to deal with this bullshit.”
“But I do.” I swallow, hard, my chest tight. “You gotta let me decide what I’m up for, yeah?”
But she’s still shaking her head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t accept that.”
“You have to, Duke.” Her eyes are on me again. “Trust me when I say you want no part of this mess.”
