God, if she lost her son? Well, there was going to be nothing left for her—
Saxton’s chair shifted back, and the solicitor got to his feet to escort the civilian brothers to the exit.
“Wait,” she heard someone say in a commanding voice.
It was as she was trying to figure out who’d spoken that she realized it was her, and what do you know, she was now up and out of the office chair, heading toward the father. His eyes flared as she closed in, and then they were standing face to face.
“Your Majesty,” he croaked and then bowed.
As he slowly straightened, she felt for him. There were bags under his eyes, and shadows within them, and he had a palewhite line around his lips that suggested he was sick to his stomach.
Her hand lifted to rest on his arm. “You are not alone.”
Before he could respond, she wrapped him in an embrace. “Tell yourshellanI’m thinking of her.”
The civilian trembled as he tentatively returned the hug.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he said hoarsely when she stepped back. “I’ll do that. You are…most kind.”
She looked at the brother and nodded in sympathy. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and she was willing to bet, the moment he could, he was going to break down completely.
And then the pair of them were gone, the door easing shut on its own. In the wake of the departure, she crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at the steel panel that had been painted to look like wood.
Unease wove its way through her, and she twisted around. Rahvyn was where “Wrath” always was, the silver-haired angel—or whatever she was—appearing as herself as she stood next to the armchair she used when she’d garbed herself in the appearance of the King.
“You should go to him,” the female said.
“Who,” Beth asked. Even though she knew.
“Your son. You’re worried about him. Sometimes, amahmenknows.”
No need to give that order twice.
With a desperation that clawed into her, she scrambled out of the room and did what she could to proceed calmly down the hall so she didn’t alarm any of the staff. Though she and the Brothers usually used the kitchen exit, it seemed too far away; instead, she headed right to the front door, and stumbled out onto the porch. As she caught herself from falling, she had a vague thought that she hoped the two civilians didn’t see her. She wasn’t feeling very queenly at the moment.
Fortunately, the warm night air focused her some, and she finished the rest of the job by shutting down her emotions—an Olympic sport she’d gold-medaled in a long time ago.
Home.
Home.
“Home,” she ordered out loud.
Closing her eyes so she could concentrate more, she tried to dematerialize. When nothing happened, she walked across the lawn and did what she could to shake out her ringing anxiety. Stopping under one of the big maple trees that framed the fake farmhouse, she looked up. Through the interlocking branches, a brilliantly clear night sky stretched as far as the horizon in all directions, the stars playing patty-cake, peekaboo as the leaves were riffled by the wind.
She wished Wrath was here. Sure, he couldn’t do anything more than she had, but she really could have used even just his presence by her side. However compassionate and caring everybody around her was, he was the only person who had as much invested in their son’s survival as she did.
It was on that thought that she managed to dematerialize, her corporeal being dissolving into molecules that took flight and carried her where she needed to be.
As she re-formed in front of Fritz’s yellow house, her mind coughed up a brief memory of coming here in her Volvo the night she’d moved in, her head full of delusions that magically things were going to be different. Reality had disabused her of that optimism pretty damn quick. And yet she had soldiered on.
Which was about all she could say for the interceding years.
The trees are so much bigger now, she thought as she hopped up onto the porch and put the copper key to use.
Into the house, through to the kitchen, into the pantry. Shelf. Switch. Steel panels shifting, access granted—now the stairs.
At the bottom, she let herself into the Wheel’s ring-around corridor, and took off at a quick stride. Passing by various residences, she reached her own and took out a second copper key—
