Mary:You don’t want to watchCruellabecause you’re a softie for dogs now that George is in your life.
V:Stop. This is not me, remember.
Mary:*stares at him* Do you want me to bring your mother into this?
V:The letter writer’s mother, you mean.
Mary:Fine. The letter writer’s mother.
V:*lights up a hand-rolled* We’re not supposed to bring parents into any discussions. See also, “cruise-shipping”—which is, in fact, a word because I’ve now used it twice.
Mary:Don’t you think the letter writer, who has unresolved issues with his mother, maybe feels shut out by the succession plan she put in place?
V:*exhales* I can’t comment because we don’t know about the writer’s mother. Or what role she plays in any of this.
Mary:You’re the one who wanted to open this up. You chose the *air quotes* letter. So, we’re going to go there.
V:Well…okay, so assuming the letter writer has issues with, let’s call it, maternal figures—which we cannot confirm because we do not know who is writing—you’re assuming that the son wanted to succeed his mother in the job. But he didn’t. He doesn’t. And that’s the God’s honest.
Mary:She never even asked, though, did she?
V:Huh?
Mary:She never asked the son what he wanted.
V:Does she have to? She knows—knew—everything.
Mary:But sometimes it isn’t the knowledge, it’s the exchange. And I think that’s been the problem in that relationship. It’s all one-sided, and by definition, that diminishes the other party. Negates them. Makes them feel unimportant. The son is diminished by the mother’s inability to enter into an exchange.
V:*grunts*
Mary:And with respect to the troubling roommate? He’s never done that to the son. If anything, he’s looking for interaction.
V:Too much in the wrong way.
Mary:Better than too little in the wrong way.
V:*grunts again*
Mary:I think this is all going to be fine. And I also think you guys like bitching about him. He knows this, and that’s another reason he does what he does. He needles you guys. You guys needle him. And some of it is legitimately funny.
V:I reserve the right to get bored of this.
Mary:*dryly* You? Bored with something? I can’t imagine.
V:Not that we know the letter writer.
Mary:Right. Not that we know the letter writer. *leans in close* P.S., I’ve seen you smile when you think no one’s watching.
V:Shh. You have not. And certainly never when he was getting a pie in the face.
Mary:On that note, until next month! Oh, and Victory is Assured? Let us know how it all turns out!
V:*grunts again* And I don’t have mommy issues.
Flamethrowers and Holly Trees
Dear Vishous,
