You.
Okay, maybe you weren’t there in person, or saw any of the videos, or stood in those long lines for me, but the collective you of readers was there for me.
Still.
In that monsters panel, most of the questions were for the other authors (because hello, I don’t write monsters really—unless you count Lassiter with the remote). But towards the end, someone in the audience asked me to comment on how it felt to still be in the game after all these years.
It stopped me in my tracks. They had no idea how scared I’d been at the start of the con, how worried that I was going to show myself up for not being relevant anymore, what it’s like to feel the larger world moving on from you and know that the runway is getting shorter and shorter.
I choked up and spoke the truth.
I don’t know why I’m still here. There are so many writers over the years who have stepped off the ladder, writers who are much better than I am, who deserve recognition and an audience, who worked hard and put their heart and soul intotheir words, who wished and hoped and prayed that the dream would come true for them. I’ve seen so many people I started out with retire, or drift away, or God forbid, pass on. Sure, there are still some of us old-timers left around, and hey, I’ve got a good-sized audience who’s stuck with me. Also, with the Passionflix series, and now all the viral stuff, a whole new generation is finding the Brotherhood and that’s just incredible. And I’m like…how is this happening. Again?
I don’t fucking know why it’s me or why I’m still here.
What I am clear on…
Is that it’s because ofYOU.
For the countless heroes and heroines I’ve ever written, for all the The Ends I’ve gotten to, and the sunsets that have been ridden off into in my books,youaremyhappily ever after.
I could keep babbling on here, but I’m going to end with that. Well, that, and thank you. Thank you for everything. People have told me so many times over the course of these many years how much my books have meant to them.
I guarantee that what you’ve given me has been a million-fold more.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. And I don’t know if there’s another twenty years past this, but I’m not hanging up my sunglasses and LBDs quite yet.
As long as you Keep Reading, I’m going to keep writing. Deal?
With all my love,
Jess/J.R.
July 31, 2025
An Interview(ish) With The Black Dagger Brotherhood
I had a plan. It was a GREAT plan. I was going to “interview” the original Brothers in a heavily colon’d way:
WRATH: Bkdwlw vh iadf hekl vo;dlkdi j.
CHALLA: Jkvn psdk jfdich ageduj, lldji?
WRATH: *glower* *curse* Okdi ebkuvl.
CHALLA: *laughs*
It was going to be quick, easy, wham-bam, thank you, ma’am. Something I’d done before. Fun, light, and uncomplicated for me.
Cue the blank staring at the screen. This section just wouldn’t write. Good thing I had other parts of this guide to work on, but still, as the deadline loomed, it became clear that I was in trouble.
I was truly starting to panic, having run out of other deliverables for the project…when I had a sudden vision of me in the back of a blacked-out Mercedes sedan with Fritz. That’s when it exploded. The whole thing that follows.
Fair warning, it gets a little weird. At least in my opinion. Also, all things considered, I would have preferred to keep me out of it. I’m a little emotional over this twentieth-anniversary stuff, and I’d really rather just bury that like I always do.
As usual, though, the Brothers are in charge, and my Rice Krispies rule the day. And I’m not complaining. Honest.
I would be so lonely without those males…
