The dining room was to the left, and she covered the distance in a daze. The conversation was even louder down here, and she had a vague thought that there had been much more laughter before. Now, it was just talk. Still, the chatter was better than the mourning silence that had reigned for the first month, only the sounds of silverware scraping plates breaking the oppressive quiet.
The instant she stepped into the archway of the vast, formal room, a hush crashed through the conversations, snuffing out syllables like candle flames.
All the faces turned to her, forks and knives freezing, eyebrows raising, even Fritz stopping as he came through the flap door in the far corner with a silver platter. The only one who moved was Tohr as he went around to stand behind his chair between his Autumn and her daughter, Xhex.
“May I get you something, my Queen,” the butler asked in a hopeful tone.
Her eyes went down the long table to the vacant armchair at the far end. The seat to the right of it was unoccupied, too. She hadn’t eaten here since the night he died.
“I…” That was as far as she got.
Across the table from her, Tohr’s eyes narrowed like he knew she was about to lose it.
Before the Brother could say anything, she rasped, “I can’t…live here anymore.”
As soon as she heard the words, there was a tearing relief in her chest. She couldn’t change the one thing that really ruined her: She couldn’t bring herhellrenback, not even to yell at the dumb sonofabitch for ruining all their lives. But you know what? She sure as shit could stop looking at the things that reminded her of him. The ghosts of their stolen moments of privacy haunted her, from the glances they’d shared at this very table to the carpets they’d strode together, the couches they’d shared, the halls they’d walked, the rooms they’d entered and exited…
…that big bed they’d made love in.
It all needed to go.
And since there was no way of stain-removing her aching nostalgia from the mansion, she was the one who had to clear out. Even though her father’s one wish in building this vast mountaintop palace had been for everybody to live here together, and even though it had taken almost a hundred years and Darius’s own death before that vision came true, she had to leave.
Happy Anniversary.
“You all stay here, though.” Her eyes traced over the couples, the families, the young—and Fritz, whose face was frozen in something close to terror. “It’s just L.W. and me who are going. I’ll find somewhere safe, maybe we’ll stay out at the new Audience House…or…I don’t know. But I’mnotliving here anymore.”
In the shocked quiet that followed, the assembled looked around at each other, and the room crowded in on her. From the sideboards ladened with trays and bowls of food, to the polished mahogany table that was like a river that flowed down the space, to the chair backs rising in carved wingsbehind the shoulders of males and females alike, it was all as it had always been since the first night Wrath and she had come here.
And that was what she couldn’t bear.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out.
Just before she turned away, there was the sound of a chair moving back, and she glanced over at Vishous as the goateed male got to his feet.
Rhage and Butch joined him at the same time, and then Phury and Z were right on their heels. One by one, John Matthew, Qhuinn, and Blay got up, and then it was the entirety of the Band of Bastards. Followed by Rehv. The other fighters. And all the mates and the young.
Everybody rose, their glasses getting set down, their napkins dropped next to half-filled plates, young hipped or held or able to stand on their own. And over in the corner, Fritz placed what he was carrying on the nearest sideboard and then leaned back through the flap door into the kitchen.
As thedoggenstaff filed in, forming a pool of gray in their uniforms, she knew a crushing defeat. All of them were hurting, too, and yet here she was, making drama—
Tohr’s voice was level, strong and true, like the tolling bell of a cathedral calling the lost to come for solace, and it cut through her chaos with a shaft of kindness.
“We’re going with you.”
Four simple words.
That meant something far deeper:You are not alone.
Chapter One
The Wheel, BDB Underground Residence
Present Day
Wah-BAM!
It was straight out of some old-school Marvel comic shit, the cracking impact leading to a red-hot shocker of pain as well as a sharp, rapping sound that echoed around the little bedroom like a lightning strike.
