Page 52 of Script
But out there, with filming, and the messages, and the hopes and fears, there was more than I could handle, and the complex emotions were a fizzing ball of worry that stole my creative thoughts. I didn’t have a therapist, but Atlas hooked me up; only one session in and all I felt was that I was a fraud.
Who was I for people to look up to?
“Finn? Earth to Finn?”
I glanced left at Cam, bobbing next to me in his vast pool, the faint sounds of rock music echoing from the property next door, and a camel staring at us over the fence.
“Huh?”
“You were miles away.”
“There’s a camel.” I pointed at the inquisitive animal, who huffed and turned to leave.
“Yep. But that isn’t what’s got you staring into the middle distance.”
He floated us back to the side, into the shallower end, and we sat on the steps, the early evening sun warm on any exposed skin.
“What if I fuck everything up?”
“You’re worrying about the movie? Don’t. River says you have an eye for the script, and he’s convinced it will be big.”
“I don’t mean the movie.”
“Then what? Sweetheart? What?”
I leaned on him, every emotion bubbling to the surface, and my eyes filled with tears.
“What if I can’t be the person that people want me to be?”
He held me when I cried like a confused, exhausted toddler, and I felt foolish and low and fucked-up, and still he held me.
We both heard the buzzing at the same time, and I glanced up, a drone hovering over the pool, way up high. I heard a bang, and the thing disintegrated, some of the pieces splashing into the deep end of the pool, one larger part slamming into the gazebo.
“Got it!” someone yelled next door.
“Fucking paps!” another voice yelled back.
“See!” I shouted at Cam, right in his face. “It’s hurting your life now! We may as well end it before this destroys us. Fuck! I need to go.” I knew I wasn’t making sense, but the heartbreak in Cam’s eyes turned to flinty determination.
He held my hand and tugged me up and out of the water.
“Fuck them and fuck this shit. We’re going inside.”
Chapter18
Cameron
For some reasonI was in full caveman mode.
Guess this was my Fred Flintstone era.
Whatever.
Tugging Finn behind me, I stormed into my house, slammed the doors, and called out to Alexa to close the horizontal blinds. As the room slowly darkened, I released Finn, turned, and tried to get him to a calmer place. It might have worked if I weren’t as keyed up as I was. He was for sure feeding off my vibes.
“We’re going to meditate,” I told him. His eyes rounded. “Yeah, I said it. We’re going to sit down, close our eyes, and find our center.”
“Uhm… okay?”
