Page 16 of Holiday Scars
Holding my breath, I glance over. As I suspected, the space beside me is empty. But the sheets are still warm, and the pillow is dented where Jett’s head was. I grab it and squeeze it against my face, breathing him in.
Did I dream the way he kissed me last night? Or the sound he made when he came in my mouth? That change in his body chemistry when he finally stopped holding back?
Why? Why now?
I lie there for a minute, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe around whatever’s pressing on my ribs.
Last night echoes in fragments. I’m not sure my heart can handle the whole playback reel. The look in his eyes, the moment before I kissed him. A little fear tinged the corners, but his pupils were blown wide. I knew how much he wanted it. I finally got to feel how soft he is under all that muscle.
Jett kissed me like he’d been waiting to kiss someone like that all his life. I knew I was a goner for him the second it happened. Hell, I think I knew it when I laid eyes on him ten years ago. I’d met Dirk first, and they look alike, but Jett stopped my heart.
He was seventeen, cocky as hell, working security for a gambling ring. He had a mouth full of smart remarks that made me hard every time he opened his trap.
Even though I knew he was straight, it hurt knowing that I could never have him. I pushed away how I felt about Jett to survive, and I settled for his friendship.
The way he kissed me last night means I was either wrong all these years, or maybe he was just using me to figure shit out. Did I take advantage of that?
Jett loved the way I sucked his dick, but does he want to take last night further?
He made sure to tell me he wants to leave Trace’s detail and work for Shane as a guard. He’s moving on. Forward, if he’s going to be directly guarding Lennox or their baby. He wants stability, I guess. A steady rotation. Set hours.
Right now, we’re called in when we’re needed. Kept on jobs until we’re done.
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I need Jett like I need air, but will I be compromised, worrying if we get into hot water? I’m the asshole who blurred the lines between us. Jett was trying to keep things hidden.
I dragged it all out into the open.
God.
I scrub a hand over my face, groan, and push out of the bed. I don’t feel guilty often, but it’s churning like a wave in my gut.
I shower fast, so it doesn’t look like I’m hiding. The hot spray and feeling clean don’t help my sullen mood. I worry that maybe Jett left our bed because he can’t face what I did.
Message received.I’ll just play it cool.
When I step out of the bedroom, dressed and dying for coffee, noises from the living room give me a lay of the place. Happy voices, a clatter of utensils, and a low hum of the television’s weather reports.
The smell of roasted vegetables and cinnamon hits first.
I peek around the corner to see Hana cooking at the stove. Jett is laughing, standing beside her at the counter. He’s slicingapples with his sleeves rolled up, his tatted forearms flexing with every cut.
She says something, pops something into his mouth, and he grins. It’s that full, charming smile I see when he talks to women. It hits me square in the chest. He’s straight, and I was just a test.
Got it.
“Morning,” I mutter, heading for the coffee pot.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Hana teases. “You missed breakfast.”
“We’ll be eating more food in a couple of hours than I have all week.” I pat my abs. “I’m good.”
“I saved you some bacon,” Jett says, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. “And a bagel. Cream cheese is fresh. That’s still your favorite, right?”
You’re my new favorite thing...
I nod, avoiding his eyes as I accept the wrapped-up bagel with cream cheese and a slice of bacon. “Thank you.”
Dirk appears, already smirking at me. “Come on, killer. Let’s get the fryer ready.”
